A is for Avignon, L is for Lavender

The journey here was another bloody stressful drive. GPS Mrs Beckham continues to thwart our plans. After yet another long detour I finally figure out the problem. Deep in the bowels of her program she has the road tolls deselected. All the highways have tolls so she was trying to save us toll money by spending it on fuel instead and taking us cross country. Bitch.

The ancient walls of Avignon

Palais des Papes – Palace of the Popes.
I subscribe personally to the idea that religion and state should always be separate. A tour around this magnificent building with the accompanying audio guide is most excellent at reinforcing that belief as they bang on about just how political religion was back in the day (and remains). The opulence they lived in offended me. I’ve never understood why god needed so much gold and jewels. I was particularly amused at the bedchamber of one particular pope who could only sleep if he had his three attendants with him and was draped in velvet. Indeed! We weren’t allowed to take pictures in that room for fear of damaging the beautiful frescoes.

Female Pope

Once upon a time a there was a female pope. True! The poor lass however did not remain virginal as is so highly prized in religious women and got herself up the duff. She gave birth prematurely during a parade and promptly lost her baby, her life and there ends the tale. There was a very disturbing art exhibition in the palace by five women artists in her honour featuring most memorably disturbing models of melted flesh.

Ugh!

The Bridge Across The River Rhone

Benezeit Benezeit the shepherd who came down from the mountain because god told him to tell them to build a bridge. Showing some sense they thought he was nuts but asked him to prove it by lifting an unliftable stone. Miracles of miracles he lifted it with ease and some onlookers claimed they saw angels bathed in light assisting him. The bridge was henceforth built but hasn’t fared well as after innumerable collapses caused by a very persistent river today it only spans about three quarters of the river. Fail. The audio guide was hilarious telling the Benezeit tale but after that it nearly put me to sleep with the dates of every single collapse. Beautiful but boring.

Choo choo

Climb aboard the mini choo choo train. I’ve been wanting to get my mother (OK and myself) on one of these things since I knew they existed. Simply the cutest way to get around town. The locals sneer down their noses at you as we trundle past on the cobble stone streets but nothing could dampen my enjoyment. Even the English audio guide which is by a Frenchman whose accent is so thick I can barely understand him cannot dull my mood. I must be jinxed because only one of my earphones is working. The funniest tourist trap ever.

Lavender lavender lovely lavender

Avignon is part of the Provence area famous for growing Lavender. There is a very fragrant street in the town devoted almost entirely to the selling of lavender products. Aromatic goodness. The south of France is a much drier climate making it a perfect match for lavender who dislikes humidity.

If we had more than a day we could have gone on a tour to a lavender farm so instead I find some lovely bushes to indulge in on the grounds of my crappy hotel. When Mrs Beckham directed us to an industrial estate we thought she had finally lost her satellite marbles. Sadly she was all too correct. A run down establishment complete with algae green pool. It did however have a few nice plant specimens thriving despite neglect.

Unlikely lavender fairy

PLANT FILES

Sour Cherry

I had a boyfriend once with an unnatural attraction to this fruit. Perhaps it explains his attraction for me. It looks like a cherry but is almost impossibly sour. Popular in European and middle eastern cultures it is usually made into conserves rather than eaten whole.

Oleander – Nerium

Toxic yet beautiful. Used throughout the world as a garden and pot plant as they are salt, dry and drought tolerant. Perfect in this climate. Vibrant prolific long lasting flowers. Do not consume!

Gaura lindheimeri – Butterfly Bush

Banned from my (ex) nursery in Byron Bay because of its weedy seedy tendencies, this hardy little darling has pink or white flowers that look like butterflies. The bees love it and are buzzing around it this morning as I stick my camera I’m it. Loving it.