Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It’s been more than a year since I’ve returned from my grand adventure and I committed the cardinal bloggers sin. I crash landed, sulked and stopped writing. I just reread my final cheery post about committing to doing the exact opposite. Oh the shame!
In my defence during my first three months back I experienced a series of unfortunate events and lost all my momentum.
However to redress the sin and my lack of follow through…..
TEN TOP TIPS FOR WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM A YEAR LONG GRAND ADVENTURE AROUND THE WORLD
OR
GUIDE TO BEING AN UNHAPPY HORTI
😦 DO NOT, I repeat, do not get your appendix out just a few weeks after getting back and 2 days before Xmas. And do not get a secondary infection that leaves you sick for months and months. Keep ones appendix firmly where it belongs. Who knew one little appendix leaving the building could be so much trouble? Ones doctor should also not look as young as Doogie Howser. I think his stitching was of kindergarten skill level as I still get the odd alarming pain 12 months down the track.
😦 DO NOT then be all sick, pathetic and moody so when you have a beloved visitor come all the way from Scotland for Xmas they have a terrible time and nearly never ever want to speak to you again. So so so so so sorry.
😦 DO NOT have a colonoscopy. Nobody needs to see what’s up there.
😦 DO NOT let radiator in car overheat and nearly blow up, need towing and replacing on the hottest day of the year.
😦 DO NOT let your house get struck by lightening and lose all phone and internet for weeks.
😦 DO NOT prang your car whilst driving nephew around the Gold Coast which then requires 2 weeks of repairs.
😦 DO NOT fall off ladder whilst attempting to do something beyond ones skill set and get bruises the size of Tasmania on ones butt. Ouch! I have photos but I’m not sharing 🙂
😦 DO NOT daydream wistfully about getting back on a plane and do nothing about it.
😦 DO NOT then just give up and pretty much stay home and catch up on a years worth of TV & movies while there is beautiful weather outside and you live just metres from paradise.
😦 DO NOT stop writing, when it is something that brings you much joy, satisfaction and sorely needed creative outlet.
😦 DO NOT stop visiting gardens and writing about them. Ones horticultural brain gets into a funk and becomes slow, stupid and forgetful. One sounds and feels much smarter when one can spout off long complicated Latin sounding names.
That’s 11! I overachieved at underachieving! There are surely more. What ever the other crappy things about what not to do I’m pretty sure I did them. And that was just the first 3 months of 2014! Unhappy horti homecoming.
ANYHOO
2014 wasn’t all bad. When I wasn’t sulking, glued to the screen or generally mooching around feeling sorry for myself I did manage to pick myself up, wipe the self absorption from my eyes, leave my own pity party and do a few grand things.
🙂 I DID visit my favourite local gallery with a spectacular view and find something huggable.
The beautiful location of the Tweed River Regional Gallery
🙂 I DID visit my favourite forest that I used to live next to and find something huggable.
Nightcap National Park and Flooded Gums, Eucalyptus grandis
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Hoop Pine – Araucaria cunninghamii LOVE. Very cool native tree and eminently huggable.
🙂 I DID visit the local Crystal Castle with its Dalai Lama sanctioned stupa, oversized crystals, giant Buddhas and lush gardens. My nephews following the familial tradition found something to hug.
🙂 I DID catch up with friends and family for some fun times
Bloody fabulous Marys with Jaz
Prawntastic ( or Shrimptastic for my American friends)
Bonnie the neighbour’s dog was happy to have me back and firmly refused to get off the furniture. FYI that strange looking creature is a real breed – Brussels Griffon. Deliberately bred – who knew?!
Me & my 94 year old grandmother. Your honour, it’s genetic. I rest my case.
🙂 I DID visit some other local places of natural beauty but I was all sick and pathetic at the time.
Natural Arch in southern QLD
Lush palm filled subtropical rainforest of southern QLD
🙂 I DID go on a road trip with my mate Angus through the beauty of southern NSW and the wine region of northern Victoria.
Glorious view from Feathertop Winery in Victoria towards Mount Buffalo
The Big Merino. Even with my prodigious hugging skills this was too big for me. Back to the old faithful Ta-Da pose. Another FYI for my American friends, Australia has a strange propensity towards BIG things as tourist attractions. Big Bananas, Mangos, Prawns, Pineapples and so forth.
Why? ? Because we can
🙂 I DID work at the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show with Angus and sell plants, plants and more plants.
🙂 I DID finally go back to work and participate in the creation of this
🙂 I DID revisit a garden I helped create a couple of years ago and was suitably impressed.
l
Lush!
Swamp Banksia – Banksia robur
Guardians of the Garden
🙂 I DID a major life change and sold this
And bought this
And now I live very close to and swim every day in this
Yep poor me. I’m living in hell.
Christmas 2014 was almost ruined because of this just a few metres from my house but the gallant local fire brigade saved us.
My view went from this
To this! Bit too close for any kind of comfort
Yikes!
THE TROUBLE with coming home from a grand adventure is that everything at home is simply not that grand. For most of the previous year I had been on the move constantly, changing towns and countries every few days. Something new, unseen and undiscovered to be experienced around every bend. Even the bad days are better when travelling.
Another example of the hellish area in which I live. The beautiful Brunswick pub with the glorious Poinciana in full bloom. Delonix regia
Meanwhile I live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet in the so called lucky country however to me seemed it was just as I left it. The same, already discovered. Not true of course. Australia is full of undiscovered wonders I am yet to see, I was just wallowing in my pity party and post adventure culture shock. After a few weeks of catching up with friends and family I was all done and ready to go again. If only I had. (If only I had a bottomless source of money, like the bottomless Magic Pudding. Mmmmm pudding.)
I didn’t unpack my trusty suitcase Gretel the Green for weeks and continued to live out of her in utter denial of my stationary reality. I felt no attachment to my house and belongings and didn’t unpack many of my stored clothes and belongings for about 6 months. I could and possibly should have sold it all lock stock and smoking barrel right there and then. But the longer I was home and surrounded by belongings and comforts I slowly got sucked back into the materialism that is ordinary life. All of a sudden STUFF became important again. Ugh- stuff! The bane of the traveller. Admittedly my health was an issue affecting my ability to be on the move for nearly 6 months however it was and is all my stuff that weighs me down.
And now I’ve bought a new house and have even more stuff. I got rid of some old stuff and bought new stuff. I’m stuffed!
SICKNESS – STATIONARY AND STUFFED
TREATMENT – TRAVEL AND PACK LIGHT
OBSERVATION – Travelling happy horti is infinitely cooler, happier and more fun than home horti.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION – Go on many short adventures, even if they are merely close to home.
PLANT FILES from the wondrous subtropical climate of northern NSW and Southern QLD both native & exotic
Zingiber spectabile – Beehive ginger
Stream Lily – Helmholtzia glaberrima. Beautiful native found in moist places
Malaysian Grape/Orchid – Medinella myriantha
Burrawang. Lepidozamia peroffskyana – native cycad
AND FINALLY A FEW FUNNIES
Meet Frank
My new house came complete with a Green Tree Frog in my toilet. I called him Frank
Still life with Buddha & Cicada. Can’t get more Aussie than that!
If you look closely you’ll see my beer cooler sums me up nicely. A thoughtful gift from my dear friend Mike from Texas. Smiling but looking a bit peaky post surgery.
Dare I say it again? Watch this space.
Cheers!
When I finally stopped thinking about that I started thinking about the serious business of lawns and what I know about how they grow. I know that in the northern NSW of Australia lawns where I live they need at least 100mm of soil depth to be truly successful. In a land of flood, drought, lawn grub, beetles & ants soil depth can often mean life or death for lawn. The depth of the soil allows those little power packs called stolons to survive the worst nature can throw at it. I did attempt a conversation about the engineering of the lawn area with an engineer that I met but his specialty was in the engine room and we found that what we really had in common was magaritas! He did manage to communicate to me that the lawn was quite a feat to achieve and something of which they were rightly very proud.
Happy Horti 
