FORGIVE ME BLOGGERS FOR I HAVE SINNED

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It’s been more than a year since I’ve returned from my grand adventure and I committed the cardinal bloggers sin. I crash landed, sulked and stopped writing. I just reread my final cheery post about committing to doing the exact opposite. Oh the shame!

In my defence during my first three months back I experienced a series of unfortunate events and lost all my momentum.

However to redress the sin and my lack of follow through…..

TEN TOP TIPS FOR WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM A YEAR LONG GRAND ADVENTURE AROUND THE WORLD

OR

GUIDE TO BEING AN UNHAPPY HORTI

😦 DO NOT, I repeat, do not get your appendix out just a few weeks after getting back and 2 days before Xmas. And do not get a secondary infection that leaves you sick for months and months. Keep ones appendix firmly where it belongs. Who knew one little appendix leaving the building could be so much trouble? Ones doctor should also not look as young as Doogie Howser. I think his stitching was of kindergarten skill level as I still get the odd alarming pain 12 months down the track.

😦 DO NOT then be all sick, pathetic and moody so when you have a beloved visitor come all the way from Scotland for Xmas they have a terrible time and nearly never ever want to speak to you again. So so so so so sorry.

😦 DO NOT have a colonoscopy. Nobody needs to see what’s up there.

😦 DO NOT let radiator in car overheat and nearly blow up, need towing and replacing on the hottest day of the year.

😦 DO NOT let your house get struck by lightening and lose all phone and internet for weeks.

😦 DO NOT prang your car whilst driving nephew around the Gold Coast which then requires 2 weeks of repairs.

😦 DO NOT fall off ladder whilst attempting to do something beyond ones skill set and get bruises the size of Tasmania on ones butt. Ouch! I have photos but I’m not sharing 🙂

😦 DO NOT daydream wistfully about getting back on a plane and do nothing about it.

😦 DO NOT then just give up and pretty much stay home and catch up on a years worth of TV & movies while there is beautiful weather outside and you live just metres from paradise.

A bit of local paradise

😦 DO NOT stop writing, when it is something that brings you much joy, satisfaction and sorely needed creative outlet.

😦 DO NOT stop visiting gardens and writing about them. Ones horticultural brain gets into a funk and becomes slow, stupid and forgetful. One sounds and feels much smarter when one can spout off long complicated Latin sounding names.

That’s 11! I overachieved at underachieving! There are surely more. What ever the other crappy things about what not to do I’m pretty sure I did them. And that was just the first 3 months of 2014! Unhappy horti homecoming.

ANYHOO

2014 wasn’t all bad. When I wasn’t sulking, glued to the screen or generally mooching around feeling sorry for myself I did manage to pick myself up, wipe the self absorption from my eyes, leave my own pity party and do a few grand things.

🙂 I DID visit my favourite local gallery with a spectacular view and find something huggable.

The beautiful location of the Tweed River Regional Gallery

🙂 I DID visit my favourite forest that I used to live next to and find something huggable.

Nightcap National Park and Flooded Gums, Eucalyptus grandis

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Hoop Pine – Araucaria cunninghamii LOVE. Very cool native tree and eminently huggable.

🙂 I DID visit the local Crystal Castle with its Dalai Lama sanctioned stupa, oversized crystals, giant Buddhas and lush gardens. My nephews following the familial tradition found something to hug.

🙂 I DID catch up with friends and family for some fun times

Bloody fabulous Marys with Jaz

Prawntastic ( or Shrimptastic for my American friends)

Bonnie the neighbour’s dog was happy to have me back and firmly refused to get off the furniture. FYI that strange looking creature is a real breed – Brussels Griffon. Deliberately bred – who knew?!

Me & my 94 year old grandmother. Your honour, it’s genetic. I rest my case.

🙂 I DID visit some other local places of natural beauty but I was all sick and pathetic at the time.

Natural Arch in southern QLD

Lush palm filled subtropical rainforest of southern QLD

🙂 I DID go on a road trip with my mate Angus through the beauty of southern NSW and the wine region of northern Victoria.

Glorious view from Feathertop Winery in Victoria towards Mount Buffalo

The Big Merino. Even with my prodigious hugging skills this was too big for me. Back to the old faithful Ta-Da pose. Another FYI for my American friends, Australia has a strange propensity towards BIG things as tourist attractions. Big Bananas, Mangos, Prawns, Pineapples and so forth.
Why? ? Because we can

🙂 I DID work at the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show with Angus and sell plants, plants and more plants.

🙂 I DID finally go back to work and participate in the creation of this

🙂 I DID revisit a garden I helped create a couple of years ago and was suitably impressed.

l

Lush!

Swamp Banksia – Banksia robur

Guardians of the Garden

🙂 I DID a major life change and sold this

And bought this

And now I live very close to and swim every day in this

Yep poor me. I’m living in hell.

Christmas 2014 was almost ruined because of this just a few metres from my house but the gallant local fire brigade saved us.

My view went from this

To this! Bit too close for any kind of comfort

Yikes!

THE TROUBLE with coming home from a grand adventure is that everything at home is simply not that grand. For most of the previous year I had been on the move constantly, changing towns and countries every few days. Something new, unseen and undiscovered to be experienced around every bend. Even the bad days are better when travelling.

Another example of the hellish area in which I live. The beautiful Brunswick pub with the glorious Poinciana in full bloom. Delonix regia

Meanwhile I live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet in the so called lucky country however to me seemed it was just as I left it. The same, already discovered. Not true of course. Australia is full of undiscovered wonders I am yet to see, I was just wallowing in my pity party and post adventure culture shock. After a few weeks of catching up with friends and family I was all done and ready to go again. If only I had. (If only I had a bottomless source of money, like the bottomless Magic Pudding. Mmmmm pudding.)

I didn’t unpack my trusty suitcase Gretel the Green for weeks and continued to live out of her in utter denial of my stationary reality. I felt no attachment to my house and belongings and didn’t unpack many of my stored clothes and belongings for about 6 months. I could and possibly should have sold it all lock stock and smoking barrel right there and then. But the longer I was home and surrounded by belongings and comforts I slowly got sucked back into the materialism that is ordinary life. All of a sudden STUFF became important again. Ugh- stuff! The bane of the traveller. Admittedly my health was an issue affecting my ability to be on the move for nearly 6 months however it was and is all my stuff that weighs me down.

And now I’ve bought a new house and have even more stuff. I got rid of some old stuff and bought new stuff. I’m stuffed!

SICKNESS – STATIONARY AND STUFFED

TREATMENT – TRAVEL AND PACK LIGHT

OBSERVATION – Travelling happy horti is infinitely cooler, happier and more fun than home horti.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION – Go on many short adventures, even if they are merely close to home.

PLANT FILES from the wondrous subtropical climate of northern NSW and Southern QLD both native & exotic

Zingiber spectabile – Beehive ginger

Stream Lily – Helmholtzia glaberrima. Beautiful native found in moist places

Malaysian Grape/Orchid – Medinella myriantha

Burrawang. Lepidozamia peroffskyana – native cycad

AND FINALLY A FEW FUNNIES

Meet Frank

My new house came complete with a Green Tree Frog in my toilet. I called him Frank

Still life with Buddha & Cicada. Can’t get more Aussie than that!

If you look closely you’ll see my beer cooler sums me up nicely. A thoughtful gift from my dear friend Mike from Texas. Smiling but looking a bit peaky post surgery.

Dare I say it again? Watch this space.

Cheers!

GOD HELP USA 3 – BRILLIANT BOSTON

BOSTON

To break up yet another excruciatingly long day in the bus on our way to Boston we stopped at the outlet town of Freeport. A strange place. A whole New England town that seems to exist purely for shopping. Underwhelming and not really that cheap. Missable. I bought another beanie just in case I manage to lose another one. Got to keep my exceptional brain warm!

For someone who is not a city girl I absolutely loved Boston. Boasting itself as the birthplace of the revolutionary movement this town has an awesome vibe. A town of many colleges including Harvard, it is a happy high energy town. Our first evening there we dined at the oldest seafood restaurant in town, Legal Sea Foods. Mouth watering deliciousness. FYI it’s pronounced Chowdah, not chowder. About this you must be very clear. Think JFK. The Boston accent is excellent.

RED SOX and FENWAY PARK

Fenway Park is America’s oldest baseball field, 101 years young and the home of the Boston Red Sox. I’m fascinated by the USA’s obsession with baseball and couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a tour of the park and to attend my first ever game. The tour, led by an old fan boy who had obviously been involved with the club for years, was fascinating and fun. He just loved his baseball and loved his club. By the time he was done with us we were psyched for the game and big fans. Truth be told I got a little overexcited and kind of overdid it! You be the judge!

THE GAME

Batter, batter, batter, batter, swing batter. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Field of Dreams and the Fenway Park tour is all I know about baseball. I went to the game and didn’t really learn much more except how fun it is just being there. The stadium is a thing of beauty and smells amazing with the smoky aromas of hotdogs, burgers, pretzels and the myriad other fast foods on offer. Our seats were on the opposite side to the pitch so the players looked like tiny white ants to me, but that is beside the point.

The point to attending a game seemed to be mostly social. Everyone is there to laugh and dance and sing and eat and drink overpriced beer out of plastic cups. All kinds of good and tastiness. We had an awesome time just partying with the people in front of us and ignoring the pretentious college students behind us. I even met someone who was a crazier dancer than me! Everyone seemed to only have one eye on the game but managed to pay attention when it counted. The game ran long, a few extra innings that we couldn’t stay for and the bad news is – the Red Sox lost. Disappointed! I’m off to New York next and my affections have always been fickle. I might just have to change teams! I can always use another cap and t-shirt.

FREEDOM TRAIL

Boston is very proud of its revolutionary history and has a clearly marked “Freedom Trail” designed as a walk through the city. Seeing as we knew nothing about American history we opted for a walking tour with a guide in period costume. Quite long at nearly two hours, she took us to a few of the important spots on the trail and attempted to fill our brains with history. Lots of names like James Otis, John Hancock (he of the signature), Samuel Adams and Paul Revere, whose graves we got to visit. Most of it didn’t sink in but the basic gist was about sticking it to the English about unfair taxes, Boston Tea Party (tipping tea into the sea), torture, public shamming, a massacre, bloody battles and of course ultimately self determination. Am so glad I was not around in the Puritan and Colonial days. My big mouth would have got me in a world of trouble. Nasty and barbaric.

CHEERS

To cheer ourselves up we headed to the bar where everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came. The real bar that inspired the TV series is in Boston and so is the replica down next to the very funky Quincy Market area. I really really really really really wanted to go the real one but our time and route through the city meant we could only visit the replica. Still good. It was beer after all!

And our tour is over. So much to see in Boston, so little time. Most definitely worthy of a return visit someday. Would like to see the Red Sox game all the way through, and maybe they’ll win!

NEXT STOP NEW YORK NEW YORK

A few last funnies

It clearly means something different here!

Red Sox chick magnet. How could I resist? Be still my beating heart. Ultimate hug!!!

Cheers

God help USA 2. State of Maine

BACK IN THE USA USA USA

As soon as we left Canada we left the rain behind. Yay! Over the border in the US state of Maine we were greeted with sunshine and nature just beginning to blush like a shy girl showing off her Fall colours. The greens of the forest are dappled with reds and golds. Gorgeous.

Full credit for this picture goes to my current wife and roomie extraordinaire Ms Penny Hooper

ACADIA NATIONAL PARK

Our reason for coming to Maine was to spend some time in the Acadia National Park, New England’s only national park. With only one full day there we headed straight there late in the afternoon after yet another big day of driving

JORDAN POND

On Golden Pond! Not quite, but we tackled an easy flat walk around this glorious pond of about 3 miles in about and hour and a half just before the sun set. And we saw a deer and a chipmunk. Always a bonus. We earned our lobster dinner that day at a very cool restaurant called Poor Boys. Just to be clear, New England is famous for cheap and plentiful lobster. We eat it any chance we get.

CADILLAC MOUNTAIN

The easy stroll around the idyllic pond had a few of us gagging for more so we did what all insane people do. We got up at 4am to hike up the Cadillac in the dark with “nearly” enough torches to greet the sunrise. We expected a path and instead there were lots and lots of rocks to scramble over.

The mountain is all granite, speckled pink and grey. Some of the walk is across great shelfs of it. The greenery consists of the usual coniferous species typical to this sort of climate. The path is marked with cairns and blue stripes painted on the rock to guide the way. We only got lost once!

An hour and a half after we set out we ascended the peak singing the “Rocky” theme song justly pleased with ourselves. Doo do doo doo do doo doo do doo doo do doo! You know it. Everyone else, that is the sane people, had driven up the mountain to greet the magical pink sunrise and I’m pretty sure that we disturbed their peace. Serenity now! Always the loudest people in the village.

The funniest moment came when we encountered a woman up there with her stuffed monkey taking pictures of said monkey enjoying the moment. One of our team gave the monkey a banana. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard! Priceless.

On the way back down later we were kind of horrified at the terrain we had survived in the dark. Fools rush in.

OTTER POINT

I was excited about walking to this point. I’d clearly done enough walking already that day but I was finally going to see some otters. No I wasn’t. There were no otter and therefore no point. Oh ok it was pretty but there were no damn otters. No bears, no otters, no moose BUT we did see a hummingbird later in town. That was special.

BAR HARBOR

Bar Harbor is Acadia’s local town and it is the cutest little place. Quirky shops, lots of humour and loads of lobster. Our group split up into various activities. Whale watching, lighthouse tours and some of us after the fruitless stroll around Otter Point found the local Irish pub for an ale and lunch. It’s the kind of area that between the town and the park it would be easy to spend at least a week here exploring and enjoying the amazing scenery.

The big question is do they take orders, returns or do reconditioning?

NEXT STOP BOSTON

Canada Can 2. Montreal & Quebec

MONTREAL

The only non fun part of this tour is the amount of time we spend in our very uncomfortable bus getting to our next destination. The seats and seatbelts leave a little to be desired. First world problems!

A looooong day of driving gets us to our first stop in French Canada, Montreal. I’ve forgotten the very few words I learnt way back in April at the beginning of my adventures. Luckily they mostly speak English here too and if they don’t, they are usually lying. Just like France!

Montreal is infinitely more interesting to me than Toronto. In fact we all warmed to the city quickly. It has a European vibe about it. The old town area has cobblestone streets and lots and lots of tourist shops. Just like Europe! We arrived for dinner at our chosen restaurant, who brewed their own beer, just in time for happy hour to enjoy five dollar pints. I got two! At once!

NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL

Another city, another Notre Dame, another extraordinary church. Unassuming on the outside but gasp worthy on the inside. Staggering beauty. Another religious money spinner with a five dollar entry fee but worthy of both the dollars and time.

MONTREAL JARDIN BOTANIQUE and MOSAICULTURE

The visual feast just got better with a visit to an extraordinary sculptural plant exhibition at the local botanic gardens. The gardens are just next to the Olympic Stadium which are worth a visit too but we didn’t get there. A real turn off at $29.50 entry but it turned out to be some of the best money I’ve spent the whole trip and worth the stop in Montreal alone. This special event is held every three years in different countries around the world and by god I hope it comes to Australia someday. I’ve seen plant sculptures before but nothing had prepared me for what I was about to see. It even has its own special term – Mosaiculture.

It started off ordinarily enough with cute, clever and quirky life size designs of the like I have seen before.

I had to indulge my fetish in other ways.

What truly affected me was their ability to display true emotion and pathos in the sculptures. The Mother Earth Mosaiculture as well as being grand evoked such peace about her that it nearly brought me to tears. Staggering beauty so many times in one day. Lucky happy horti.

Phoenix

Mother Earth

Shaggy dog, the animal sculptures like this are not strictly Mosaiculture but are included in the exhibition because they are just so damn cute

Plant species used

Despite the diversity in the designs the Mosaiculture overall tend to use the same species as they are ideal for their hardy, low maintenance requirements. Compact, slow growing, colourful, hardy and water friendly.

Alternanthera, buxus, cuphea, curry bush, festuca glauca, asparagus fern, heuchera, bedding begonias, marigolds, rudbeckia, petunias, prostrate conifers, ivy, potato vine, prostrate ornamental sweet potato. Many of these plants (in italics) I wouldn’t use in a million years in Australia as they have extreme weed potential.

Nemo has been found

Succulents were popular too with species like echeveria, sedum, seaweed like euphorbia firesticks, senecio blue chalk and kalanchoe flapjacks.

The sculptures themselves took all of my attention so I did not really see much of their other gardens but I did spend a little bit of time in their vegetable patch. Impressive to say the least. It just goes to show how something useful can also be colourful, artistic and beautiful.

CAFE O NOIR

Dining in the dark. Not a bit dim or candlelit but in complete and utter darkness.

The waiters in this restaurant are blind and the dining is designed to allow patrons to experience their world. We’d heard mixed reviews of this Canadian innovation but couldn’t pass up the opportunity. There is a bit of a process to make it work. Before entering the dining room we had to order our food and drink in the lobby with the sighted staff. Our waiter Fay then collected us and led us into his sightless world. The group had to connect to each other in a line with our left hands on each others shoulders as we entered into the pitch. Like a family of elephants holding trunks and tails! He seated each of us and let us know where our glasses, plates and cutlery were.

The absolute darkness is unnerving. I had moments of feeling an irrational claustrophobia as the dark closed in on me. It is surreal being in a space for which you have no visual reference. I had no idea how big the room was or how many other diners there were. The only physical reference of space that I had was the wall I was seated next to and the curtain we came in by. My assumption is that the space is divided up into curtained areas and pathways to make it easy and safe for the staff to navigate.

Eating food by feel with cutlery is no easy feat. If one is really brave, which I was not, one can order the mystery entree, main and cocktail. The idea is to engage your taste senses and guess what’s in your dinner. I played it safe and had a lamb shank and sorbet. Thankfully the meat just fell off the bone and I managed to eat it all without resorting to my fingers and without getting it all over myself. I had worn black just in case.

An extraordinary and unusual experience. I can cross that off my to do list! Once is enough. The light was bright and loud when we eventually emerged. I was very grateful to move back out into my cacophonous sighted visual world. For obvious reasons there are no photos.

QUEBEC

Wet, Wet Wet in Quebec, Quebec, Quebec.

I’m sure it would have been lovely if it hadn’t rained. Everything is better with a bit of sunshine. Our mode of travel means we only get one day in each town and our one day here was wet wet wet. The main visual attraction is the posh Hotel Fairmont or Le Chateau Frontenac that looks more like fairytale castle than a hotel. We did wander in on the look out for the dog that the hotel reputedly keeps as a mascot but no luck. The town is in fact resplendent with fine architecture, cute streets and quirky shops but we were just too damp to get really enthusiastic. We did manage to eat lobster though. In this neck of the woods there must always be lobster!

Quebec is a walled city with loads of history and a pretty harbour. If it had been a sunny day and we could have actually seen it we would have done a walking tour. It would have been nice to learn something about the city. I left as ignorant as I arrived. I know that’s not hard.

And that’s it for Canada. Too short.

NEXT STOP THE USA STATE OF MAINE

But first I have to keep sharing the wonders of Mosaiculture

And of course my hugs

And Mother Nature one more time. Isn’t she pretty!

Ireland Files 10. Drinking in Dublin

DUBLIN

Kissing mission and acquisition of Eloquence complete I headed for Dublin.

Jason seems to have issues every time we hit a city and managed to get us completely lost while having a recalculation fit. Recalculating, recalculating, recalculating, recalculating. Lucky he has a nice voice. He eventually led me to a suburban dead end. Happy days. I eventually arrived at my over priced hotel and headed for an overpriced pint.

My first order of business in this fair city strangely enough was to find the Australian Embassy in Dublin so I could cast my vote and attempt to keep that misogynistic mad monk out of government. We all know how that turned out. Regardless it was a treat to be in a room of Aussies for a few minutes. No worries, righto, thanks mate, see ya, yeah ta.

Being alone in a big city once more I opted for the tourist bus. The live guides are the funniest yet and a very good example that the male of the species can in fact multi task. The guides manage to talk, be funny and drive those gigantic double decker buses around the city. I was suitably impressed. Being Irish they are also incurable incorrigible flirts and I had so many comments on my lack of wedding ring that I have taken to wearing one to give me some peace. They are a silver tongued breed and we were regaled with gems and pearls of wisdom.

My wife uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
The definition of mixed emotions is watching your mother in law go over the cliff in your new car.
My wife ran off with a policeman. Every time I hear a siren I fear he’s bringing her back.
The millennium spire was put up in 2003.
One sang a spirited rendition of Molly Malone, that mussel and cockle seller by day and lady of the night by well night.
Another pretended that the Guinness Storehouse was closed for a private function that day.
Another changed his name from Mick to Paddy and various other Irish names at each stop.
That was just a few. I wish I had better retention for jokes.

There is so much to see in Dublin, two days is barely enough to scratch the surface. I missed the cultural things like museums and galleries and did the other really important things like visiting the makers of some fine beverages.

GUINNESS STOREHOUSE

Seeing as it was in fact and is always open I went. Pretty damn expensive too at about 16 euro but it did end with one very lovely pint in a glass tower with a panoramic view of the city. Up there with the Titanic tour as a sensory experience. The first room includes a fragrant sea of real barley, hops plants in glass cases, a cascading waterfall and loads of information about how they make their very special beer.

Arthur Guinness was one cool guy. He is loved in this city for many good reasons. As well as being the biggest employer in the city he truly cared about his workforce and tried to make life better for them. He was the first to introduce free healthcare for the men and their families, looked after the wives if hubby died, built decent housing and the list goes on. The cheeky sod, when signing the lease for the run down distillery he used to start off his business, negotiated for a 9000 year lease for about 45 pound a year! Now that’s forward thinking.

Jameson Whisky Tour

It was only fair to visit the city’s other famous alcohol distillery, otherwise it would have felt left out. Both Scotland and Ireland have loads of distilleries and I’ve somehow managed to not do an actual tour, so that’s my second excuse.

That’s my kind of chandelier.

Bloody expensive again at about 14 euro but once again worth it. My bus driver had told me that they ask ten people from the group of 40 or so to “volunteer” to be a taster and that you had to be quick. My hand shot up like a proverbial rocket and I scored the coveted role. A cheesy movie, good explanations of the process and alchemy involved in making their magical brew. The taste test was to learn the difference between Scotch, American and Irish Whisky. It was a hard job but somebody had to do it. I am now of course an insufferable expert and even have a certificate to prove it.

Dublin Literary Pub Crawl

This was such a highlight for me and I wish I had managed to do their historical walking tour as well. Ireland, and in particular Dublin, has produced some brilliant writers. Many of them having gone through the doors of Trinity College which we do visit on the tour. Two brilliant actors and literature enthusiasts walked a group of willing enthralled victims around four or five of Dublin’s pubs educating, quoting, impersonating or performing famous works by the authors. Oscar Wilde, WB Yeats, James Joyce, Samuel Beckett, Jonathan Swift, Bram Stoker and a bunch of guys and gals I’d never heard of.

Trinity College

The stops in the actual pubs are breaks and we had only 20 minutes to order and polish off a drink. I was forced to do the sacrilegious and order a half pint! Frankly I was embarrassed. This was one of my last cultural experiences in Ireland and rates as one of my best. Unmissable.

Look for the shamrock. Forget cappuccino art, Guinness art!

GREENERY

I did manage to visit one green space, St Stephens Green. Once upon a time a private garden but later opened up to the public by another philanthropic Guinness family member. Flowers, lawns, duck filled ponds and sculptures, including a very abstract one of WB Yeats. Lovely!

Dublin does have a Botanic Garden but I gave it a miss as the ad for it had a picture of a glasshouse and I just can’t bear being disappointed again. I’m all glasshoused out.

NEWGRANGE and KNOWTH

One last and fabulous cultural experience before I leave these emerald shores. I was so pleased I got to save it until last. Only an hour outside of Dublin, these remarkable ancient burial mounds are older than Stonehenge and the Giza Pyramid dated at around 3000BC.

The visit is carefully managed by the visitor centre for very good reason. When the site was originally uncovered the early visitors were souvenir hunters and fond of graffiti. Lots of precious damage done. It also means that now the site only ever has as many people as can comfortably enjoy it at a time. They transported us to the sites driven by yet more cheeky bus drivers. A breed apart. The guided tours are inexpensive but the day I turned up was magical free day! Happy horti.

I found the tours of the two different sites absolutely fascinating. Two different guides, resolutely passionate about their mounds. That sounds a bit rude!

The burial mounds are more correctly known as passage graves and are perfectly astronomically, or is it astrologically, designed so that on either the solstice or equinox depending on the mound, the inner chamber lights when the sun is perfectly aligned for an ever so brief time. Our guide at Newgrange, the only one you can go inside, was able to recreate the Winter Solstice wonder by a display brought to us by the electric company. Magical. I’m not being sarcastic, it really was. The inner chamber of Newgrange takes the form of a cross. It predates christianity by a lot so it aint no crucifix! Claustrophobics beware. It is a wee dark passage and once inside there is nowhere to go.

The Neolithic carvings from these sites formed the largest and perhaps oldest collection in the world. Loads of theories abound regarding the meaning of the spirals and other carvings but the decoding equivalent of the Rosetta Stone alas has never been found. Apparently the debate rages with gnashed teeth between the various experts. Grrr. Nothing scarier than a scholar. The spirals found inside and out of both sites are used as the template for much of the Celtic style jewellery sold in Ireland today.

I thought about asking what species of grass was covering the mounds but you know, that might have tipped them over the edge. Plus I didn’t actually care. What I really wanted to was to have a roll or perhaps cartwheel on the mounds but I reigned my impulse in. Don’t want to get banned.

And that is IT for Ireland. I had to race up to Belfast to drop off the car and bid GPS Jason a tender farewell and race back to Dublin before I headed to my next stop, USA and Canada. Bloody hell! Hard to believe that’s it. Not feeling that excited about the US yet but perhaps it will enthral me once I’m there.

Before I go a few more Irish idioms to share.

Cead mile failte – a hundred thousand welcomes
The traditional Gaelic greeting but not used nearly enough.

The modern version is:- Welcome, you are most welcome. Still good but just not the same.

Thanks a million. Not just thanks a lot, a million!

Can be used in tandem with another pearler:-
That’s grand, thanks a million.

Fair play to you – When they are very impressed by you or an accomplishment. Most Irish think that my solo journey is both mad and deserving of a “fair play to you!” I’ll take that.

Spirit of the River Liffey

Molly Malone, seller of cockles and mussels and “other” things

Spot the bullet hole

One last hug with the big green Guinness guy.

Amalfi, that’s Amore

The joy of sun, salt and limoncello continues as we journeyed just a little further down the coast. Only accessible by road or sea, given the option I would take the sea. Unfortunately the road awaits us and this trip is not for the faint hearted. The roads are just too narrow and windy for the number and size of vehicles that frequent it. But much beauty awaits us. Amalfi is absolutely gorgeous.

Our accommodation is right above the main square, great for people watching, not so much for sleeping. The square is overlooked by an ABC with beautiful Moorish detail and a bell that we quickly develop an intense love hate relationship with. It dings and peals and gongs and dongs much longer and many more times than seems necessary. Every 15 minutes it makes an audio scene and Sunday mornings are just plain ridiculous.

The offending instrument of religious torture.

At the beach we hire a chair with umbrella for 5 Euro each. It is less rocky here but the “sand” here is black. The ladies are regularly baled up by the local Lothario in his white budgie smugglers who I dub the White Pointer. I didn’t think to get photo evidence until the next day and he was sporting a fetching navy pair.

Yet another “lucky” girl

RAVELLO
Another even more terrifying bus ride awaits us up 20 minutes of steep hairpin bends to the idyllic village of Ravello. I don’t know how the bus drivers do it. They drive like maniacs but seem totally relaxed. Valium? Something in the water? Perhaps it’s all the limoncello.

The ABC has a Moorish altar like none I’ve ever seen before. Unfortunately I wasn’t there long enough to learn of its significance.

This day held a surprise for me when my prosciutto and melon (yum!) was served on a twin to a plate with a design matching one that I have at home. I inherited a collection of hand painted Italian plates from my father that I’ve always loved and have never seen anywhere else. Ravello is famous for its pottery and that design is particular to the village. A real treat for me. Dad would be chuffed! Sadly I can’t add to the collection right now as plates aren’t exactly suitcase friendly. I’ll just have to come back! How terrible.

Pottery aside the other reason to visit Ravello is to enjoy some of their famous villas. With time to visit only one, Villa Cimbrone the most famous was our destination. A good choice. Beautifully sculpted gardens accompanied by beautiful sculptures all overlooking the ocean. And with names like The Avenue of Immensity and The Terrace of Infinity how could we resist?

Later in the day we happily discovered a tranquil square where I could indulge in my new favourite drink Aperol Spritz with complimentary crisp green olives that were the best I’ve ever tasted. Mmmmm.

The Walk of the Gods – Senterio Degli Dei
Whilst we are feeling pretty special, we are none of us gods, this name is attributed to a famous walk from the peak of the island down to Positano, more lemon scented seaside village. Yet another terrifying uphill winding bus ride to the village of Bomerano takes us to its beginnings. The walk begins in the grape fields amongst red poppies and yellow flowering Santolina.

The team with me hugging the pole as per usual

It is not too difficult, marked clearly with painted markings on rocks to follow and with spectacular views. It ends with an excruciating 1700 concrete steps. We amuse ourselves by busting the odd dance move on the way down. Our descent was rewarded with a kiss and a sprig of Bougainvillea from yet another affectionate Italian gentleman. The south of Italy truly is the region of love.

Positano is another lovely if busier village. The shops are much the same and a bit steeper to get around. One just needs to stop once in awhile to refresh with an Aperol Spritz.

Back in Amalfi I lunch with Victoria from Team Intrepid 1 at a restaurant where the staff kiss me on the cheek and on the top of my head every time they serve me. Region of love, love, love!

White Pointer and numerous kisses aside our most memorable meeting was with the waitress from the coffee shop beneath our hotel. Full of advice about Menopause, stomach crunches, using men like tissues, Viagra and male potency after 55, you get the picture. No coffee in Amalfi felt complete without those pearls of wisdom. On our goodbye she exacted the promise that we would remember what she said. How could we forget?

The sun, salt, sea, limoncello not to mention all that love are hard to leave but Arriverderci Amalfi.
NEXT STOP VENICE

A few more pretties

Pompeii – City of Love

I had great photos but……
Travel is about discipline and my rule is to upload my photos off my camera everyday in case of mishap. The one day I don’t do it, the next day my camera malfunctioned and deleted everything. Nearly two whole days of irreplaceable moments. I’m traumatised, but I’ll recover in time with therapy. Welcome to the new category of ‘I had great photos but’. A few of my travel buddies kindly donated a few which I am passing off as my own.

But first Napoli.

Naples
Roll up roll up to a bit of a heck hole. My apologies to those who love Naples. In the very short time I was there she did not show me her good side except for a few notable exceptions. It was dirty and smelly and dilapidated. The streets were filthy with rubbish, the vendors were selling cheap Chinese crap but there are three very good reasons to go there.

1. Pizza.
Naples is the home of pizza and has the most famous pizza restaurant in the world in a very understated venue. They serve 2 kinds of pizza. One with cheese and the other with tomato sauce. No meat, no other toppings. A small size is HUGE but at 4 euro how can you go past it? Already legendary, the restaurant was made even more famous by the book and film Eat, Love, Pray. I had the best photos of me hugging one of the most famous pizza men in the world but……

Kindly donated by Leah. I think both the pizza guy and I have eaten too much Pizza.

2. Coffee
Naples makes the most unbelievable espresso. Blows your head off in one shot. I had photos but…….

3. Naples Archaelogical Museum
This incredible building houses statues, frescoes and mosaics recovered from the ruins of Pompeii, destroyed by the volcano Vesuvius in 79 AD. Particularly entertaining is the secret room with erotic art and um effigies of phallic symbols. Some outrageously big and others well a little disappointing! I had photos but……. these are once again kindly donated by Leah and Chantelle.

Pompeii
Never in a millions years did I ever imagine I would come to Pompeii yet here I am. The clickety clack old rattler train out to Pompeii is not very pleasant, neither are the fellow passengers but Pompeii itself is an absolute gem. A gorgeous little town with friendly people, a beautiful church and great shops all at a disconcerting closeness to Mount Vesuvius, a still active volcano. The remains of Pompeii are just off the main street. Our little group of 10 got our own guide which we quickly realised is the only way to see this place when you see people wandering around lost and ignorant. Our guide Alfredo was knowledgable and passionate and the two hours flew by. Right near the end is when my camera chucked its little tantrum so I backtracked and retook as many photos as I could. Particularly poignant are the plaster casts they took of bodies found in the ash. The children and the horses upset me especially. To put things in perspective they have been excavating Pompeii longer than Australia has been colonised. We got there early, a peaceful hour or so before the hordes of bus loads arrived. It is amazing what survived hidden under the ash and soil for nearly two thousand years. Pompeii’s obsession with phallic symbols and sexuality are still evident here too with giant penis symbols dotted around the place, especially near the building that was the local brothel. The crowds to get in to this dwelling were overwhelming so I gave it a miss.

After Pompeii ruins I wandered the town streets for a while and got waved into a cafe by the boyish charm of Salvatore the waiter where I was fed a delicious lunch of squid, prawn and mussel salad drizzled with lemon scented olive oil. Followed by free wine. I love it when they do that. Later that evening as we walk past his restaurant he raced out to declare his feelings. City of love! I only had eyes for this giant lemon.

**Around Naples and Pompeii I keep seeing chillies as jewellery and tourist symbols. They are very big on virility here and they see chilli as a talisman of that so of course I have to get one. In Pompeii I found chilli charms handmade with silver and red coral sourced from the Mediterranean Sea. When I go to select one from a bowl the shopkeeper insists I close my eyes and pick one without looking. Chance in matters of love and sex? Oh alright then. Inside the next shop I get a marriage proposal from the father of an unmarried son. Another companion gets invited on two dates. Maybe its the chilli. All in all a great day in Pompeii, the city of love. **

Vesuvius, the climb
Morning is the best time to do what turned out to be a very short climb. It is easy going through soft volcanic sand and pumice. The view over the bay of Naples is exquisite. The evidence of the not so long ago eruption is apparent by a sweeping stripe of barren land. We paid a little extra for a guide who gave us an impassioned and informative talk about Vesuvius history and the danger she still poses to the millions of people living beneath her slopes. Standing around one side of the rim is both exhilarating and unnerving as volcanic steam billows out making you very aware of just how active the volcano remains. Maybe it’s the volcano that makes everyone so passionate!! Living dangerously!

While it would be easy to stay and bask in the City of Love the sea is calling.
Ciao Pompeii
NEXT STOP SORRENTO

** CHILLI ALERT**
It turns out I am completely and utterly wrong about the chilli. I am ignorant and misinformed. Mike from Texas, my self appointed editor, critic and bringer of truth, justice and the American way has let me know in no uncertain terms the gross error of my ways. The aforementioned chilli is not in fact a chilli but in fact a cornicello or cornetto which means little horn. An amulet worn to protect against the evil eye and against being cuckolded by ones wife. Although that other font of irrefutable wisdom says that some Calabrese traditions (whoever they are) say it is a chilli. In any case I’m dreadfully sorry, pitifully ashamed and truly penitent. Thank you Mike. What would I do without you?

Dijon, mmmmm mustard

Now that GPS Mrs Beckham is my bitch our drive to Dijon, the capital of the Burgundy area of France goes without hiccup. It is a long way from Nice. I’m pretty sure that driving up a highway for 5 hours is not the way to see the south of France but this is the whistle-stop tour. I’m just grateful and happy I’ve been here at all.

We passed this on the highway. It’s French for yoghurt!

Dijon, the home of THAT mustard is an idyllic town with gingerbread timber framed houses, cobblestone streets and roofs of multi coloured glazed tiles in geometric patterns. It’s two major exports are mustard and cassis (blackcurrant) which I’m very pleased to tell you is yet another new Lindt dark chocolate flavour. I think Lindt should start paying me for advertising or at least give me a lifetime supply.
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THE OWL
Dijon is a town that has its tourism sorted and they have designed a bunch of walking tours that are easy to follow with these cute little triangular gold owl symbols to follow. Like Paris, it has a Notre Dame and an Arc De Triomphe. The Notre Dame has an owl carved into the stonework that nobody really knows the origin of but it has managed to wangle itself into the hearts and minds of this town. The popular superstition is to touch the owl with your left hand (the one closest to your heart) to make a wish and for good luck. University students reputedly touch it for good luck with their exams. Perhaps they should try studying. Of course I gave it a good rubbing.

Notre Dame has an the best gargoyles

The walk around the city is very pleasant as you basically can’t spit without hitting an historical building. Also famous as a movie set for Cyrano de Bergerac with Gerard whatshisname. Everything worth seeing is within walking distance.

That bench from that film

My only complaint is that it is incredibly hot as the streets are wall to wall paving with no green life to cool it down. The funnest place in town is Place de la Liberation where against its stark limestone backdrop the kids gleefully soaked themselves in the fountain.

Some of the big kids too!

GARDENS
The two green spaces I finally found were sadly kind of crappy.
Jardin Darcy, guarded by a gigantic huggable polar bear (why a polar bear?) is a beautiful yet poorly maintained space with giant trees to shade beneath and a generous water feature completely devoid of water. It will be alright for the next group!

The Jardin l’Arquebuse, their main botanic garden was really unkempt and full of weeds. Perhaps they were just at the beginning of their spring work. They had a nice collection of big trees like Sequoias and some really disturbing statues. The roses were the most impressive with vigorous climbers absolutely abloom. I did manage to find something huggable.

How an elephant fits into this garden in the south of France was never quite clear to me.

Poor lion

Two very prolific scrambling rose bushes

The Swiss Family McRobinson Tour is over. We drove to Zurich for one night with my niece and then the family headed home to Australia as I headed to Rome for 3 weeks of Italian indulgence.

Zurich, you’ve changed!!
The drive from Dijon back to Zurich feels a bit like driving through the Australian countryside. Lots of flat land with small green hills in the distance. Blue skies and sunshine, a land of sweeping plains.

We passed this town on the way. Nimbin’s rival perhaps.

We arrive in Zurich to sweltering heat and the city is transformed. The people seem more relaxed and their dress code has certainly changed. Gone is the tidy stylish wear and out has come the shorts, dresses and flip flops. For the first time what poverty there is here is visible. We’ve been looking forward to our apartment here. It is Zurich after all. It’s going to be nice and clean and orderly. Instead we find ourselves in Zurich’s seedy underbelly. A street of brothels, streetwalkers and all night bars. We bring our mother to all the best places! The apartment is not as advertised, missing certain essentials that we were counting on like a dining table and washing machine. On the top floor with no air conditioning, the air is like hot soup and we have to leave the windows open all night and therefore subject to the noise of the debauchery on the streets. I choose finally to sleep on the kitchen tiled floor with just a doona beneath me and ear plugs to dull the noise enough to sleep a few hours. I have no photo evidence of said debauchery. Safer to stay indoors!

A few more picture of delicious Dijon

Tiled glazed roof

I found a new drink. Beer and tequila. How to fit more alcohol into one drink. Effective!

Column hugging

Another city, another Arc de Triomphe. Built first apparently.

NEXT STOP ROMA – CIAO

Losta in Aosta, Italy that is.

AOSTA ITALY

Aosta 583 metres –
A windy three hour drive brings us to Aosta, an alpine town near the more famous Mont Blanc. Aosta is officially in Italy but has borders with both France and Switzerland. I’d never heard of the place until now. As well as speaking Italian here they speak a mongrel tongue called Aostan French which is a little bit of both languages and very confusing. It looks and feels like Switzerland except for the temperature. A balmy 25 degrees. I’m getting my legs out – well at least my ankles.

Finally a planter with something in it, and huggable.

The appeal of this town was that we knew it had Roman ruins. Imagining that we would have to make a special trip to see them in especially preserved areas we discover instead they are just an everyday part of life here. The first lot we saw were a wall in the local car park. This town of Aosta has just built around and on top of the ruins. The locals walk by with barely a glance as if it is so ordinary, whilst we are in awe. Whole streets are lined with the ruins of the original wall of the town.

There are some ruins of course that are more carefully protected. The remains of the amphitheatre and the crypt underneath the cathedral are carefully guarded. The nice thing is that all the monuments within the town are completely free, even the museum which had a collection of artefacts from BC onwards. Outside the town are lots of castles with small cover charges to visit but as we only had one day here there was more than enough to see in the CBD area.

The ruins of the amphitheatre right in the centre of town

There was a sign but…..
Tourism in Aosta is not geared towards English speaking tourists. The Tourist Info Centre people can speak English but besides the Crypt that had a poorly worded brochure, neither the museum, the cathedral, the basilica nor any of the signs at any of the monuments had an English translation. Italian and French only. A shame because there is much I would have liked to understood. Thank the Internet for Wikipedia!

Intricate carving remains at the top of an old bridge

Dummies guide to history via Wikipedia. It turns out Aosta has been settled since way back when and was invaded by the Romans in 25BC. They do get around those Romans. Apparently it’s location at the confluence of two rivers and the end of the Little and the Great St. Bernard Passes means it was an important strategic point. It is one of those towns that has seen lots of wars and many changes of power over the centuries. The architecture therefore is a bit all over the place. Various towers around the city walls reflect the styles of the different ages adding to the incongruence but somehow fitting in perfectly.

ABC Sant’Orso

ABC – ANOTHER BLOODY CHURCH
I wish I could take credit for this but my mother and brother get the kudos for this most apt acronym. I sure have seen many ABC’s along the way and it isn’t going to stop anytime soon. If there is one thing Europe has it is a surfeit of churches and cathedrals. This town has more than a few but the main ones are the Cathedral 4th Century and the Basilica Saint Ursus (Sant’Orso) 6th Century. ABC.

ABC Cathedral

Then there are the ruins under the ruins. As in Spain where the Mosques were absorbed into churches, here whatever was before the Romans is underneath the cathedral. This beautiful mosaic is beneath the altar in the main cathedral. There was a sign but…..

PLANT FILES

Sambucus Nigra – Elderflower
Whilst this plant is used in the making of Sambucca it is not its only ingredient. The main one being the liquorice flavoured Anise, Pimpinella anisum. This tree with soft green leaves and white flowers is a popular small tree for the home garden. Adding to its appeal and to my never ending delight it is a new flavour in my favourite dark chocolate brand Lindt. I really hope they release this in Australia soon as I am going to get withdrawals. Seriously delicious. Mind you god knows my ever expanding waistline could do with a break.

Yummy yummy yum yum

Another beautiful specimen of Silver Birch

The rose love affair in Europe continues. Thriving and fragrant huge flowers

Linden Tree
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Tilia platyphyllos – Large leaved Linden Tree or sometimes known as Large leaved Lime Tree
This venerable old guy is about 480 years old. The town has gone to great lengths to save it. The trunk is having some trouble. There was a sign but…..

There is a similar species Tilia cordata, Small leaved Linden Tree or similarly sometimes known as Small leaved Lime Tree. As well as being beautiful ornamental trees both are used medicinally. The flowers especially are a useful tea but the leaves and wood are also used.

This is another Tilia I spotted at Kew Gardens in London fashioned into an espalier semi circle creating a tranquil garden room.

Piazza
Like Spain with its Plaza every town in Italy has its Piazza. Always vibrant community spaces.
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This main piazza is watched over by Mr and Mrs Neptune.

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Just to rub it in this is our accommodation. What a location!

Wine

The Aosta valley makes great wine. You read it here first. Drink up. Cheers!

NEXT STOP BRIANCON FRANCE

A few more pretty things

There can never be enough Geraniums

Whatever this was it smelt sweet

There can never be enough flower art on coffee too

CIAO

Something about Sangria in Seville

Another city another Alcazar. Ho hum. The Real Alcazar in Seville is another royal residence (Real meaning royal) used by Izzy & Ferdy. Still occasionally used as one today but mainly a tourist attraction. While undoubtedly beautiful, it is the poor cousin to its namesake in Segovia as it is missing the grand location. The gardens are full of the now usual suspects of Banksia Rose in pink and yellow, palms and box hedge. The English Garden is my favourite part of the grounds with lofty trees providing an oasis of shade. An harassed peacock wanders around looking for some peace from the incessant attention of tourists. Serenity now!

Oyster Plant Acanthus mollis.
I’ve spotted this leafy plant with purple flower spikes mass planted at all of the castles visited but this is the first time it has been in flower.

After incurring the wrath of God by missing the cathedral in Granada I made sure I didn’t miss this one. This cathedral is the largest Gothic Cathedral in the world and the third largest catholic cathedral after St Paul’s & St Peters. Seville is packed with people and visiting this day it was a zoo with a very long line. Originally a Mosque, the Catholics took it over in the 11th Century retaining the minaret and turning it into the Giralda bell tower. Worth the trek up a series of 35 ramps in a square spiral, as the view of Seville is pretty damn good. It is an odd sort of building, a mishmash of muslim, renaissance, baroque and modern periods. Thankfully they kept the Orangerie courtyard, the trees have big chunky trunks showing their age. Little Chris Columbus is buried here too in a box lifted high upon the shoulders of 4 very serious looking dudes. All the cathedrals are starting to look the same now. More rosy cheeked baby Jesus, forbidding looking statues of angry dudes and Mother Mary standing on cherubs etc.

The Orangerie from on high.

Plaza de Toros. The Bullring
This was an hour of my life I can never get back!! Convinced to go for its historical value and to get a look at some costumes with bling, but ugh! I found the whole experience distressing. Sadly still in use today, the ring itself is a thing of beauty with its golden sand and architecture. They think their sand is so good they sell bottles of it in the gift shop. A must have souvenir.

The “Art” of bullfighting was explained to us by a rather defensive woman. Apparently it all began as an army training technique using the same breed of wild bulls they use today and people enjoyed watching it so much they turned this worthy pastime into a sport. Happily they liked killing each other too as the examples of severed heads around the museum tell us. Every bullfight takes about 20 minutes and they have 6 fights every event. A couple of hours of bloody goodness. They torment the bull “artistically” for about 15 minutes by getting daringly close then they execute it “artistically”. As my new travel mate Mike from Texas put it, like a cat with a mouse. If you are a really lucky dead bull and died giving extra special entertainment to the blood thirsty crowd, your severed head goes on the wall. Ole’! Fighting bull tail is a delicacy in local restaurants. As evidenced by their costumes and to my undying amusement all the bullfighters are little pint sized men. Picture me with my little finger up in the air. Compensation or what.

Flamenco
Speaking of compensation, the Flamenco or more accurately the Sevillianas we saw here was a bit of a disappointment after the Madrid show. This time the male was the star of the performance and supremely talented. Both the singer and the dancer were little guys wearing very tight pants so we could see exactly what they were packing. It’s just not attractive in any language. It was supposed to be more traditional with just a guitarist who was brilliant, a singer and 2 dancers. It was more intimate but also a more touristy experience.

Plaza de Espana
This was a highlight of Seville. My guidebook tells me this site was originally used to burn witches for 300 years during those fun Inquisition years. An absolutely brilliant building was built for a world expo and today you can go punting there instead for 5 Euro. Much nicer. The tile work alone is gorgeous. Across the road is a park that we cooled off in before the trek back to the hotel. On the backs of our maps it tells us the promenade at the Plaza is used for “the custom of popular rooting”. Lost in translation.

Hotel Don Pedro
We loved staying here. Great security, beautiful reception area and free tea and coffee.

Honourable mentions food and drinking establishments

El Rinconcillo, established 1670 is my new all time favourite bar. Filled with memorabilia, beautiful tiles and we got hit on by a gentleman that has possibly been there since it opened. He wrote us a little love note on a napkin telling us we were beautiful flowers of Seville. Sadly the romance didn’t last and the next time we went by he was hitting on some younger prettier flowers. I was heartbroken.

La Parihuela in the Jewish area.
We got touristed! The waiter asked us if wanted mixed tapas and we said yes without looking at the menu. Stupid tourists. We were too busy guzzling Sangria. Two massive platters emerged from the kitchen to the amusement of all including the other patrons. So we obliged by making a game of every time we finished one, clapping & singing Ole Ole Ole Ole, and stacking our plates into the leaning tower of Seville. The waiter rewarded us with free shots of caramel vodka that he insisted we drink without hands. Very ladylike.

Enrique Becerra
Most excellent food to be had. Sublime Ceviche and this Almond Garlic Soup concoction. Very friendly staff that charged me 2 kisses when I went back to get my misplaced map. Mwah.

PLANTS
Nearly forgot the horti bit again. I found some old Australian friends in the streets of Seville including Native Rosemary – Westringia Fruiticosa and Bottlebrush – Callistemon sp. They seem to really like the climate here. I also found a not so much good mate as an old enemy in Lantana. Pomegranate as a hedge was a happy find.

THINGS I MISSED
A cruise down the river Guadalquivir
The Torre del Oro – a 12 sided tower, part of the Alcazar fortifications.
The Indian Archives
Hospital de la Cadridad – apparently founded by Don Miguel Manara the inspiration for the infamous Don Juan to atone for his naughtiness.

NEXT STOP Tarifa, Costa De La Luz