FORGIVE ME BLOGGERS FOR I HAVE SINNED

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It’s been more than a year since I’ve returned from my grand adventure and I committed the cardinal bloggers sin. I crash landed, sulked and stopped writing. I just reread my final cheery post about committing to doing the exact opposite. Oh the shame!

In my defence during my first three months back I experienced a series of unfortunate events and lost all my momentum.

However to redress the sin and my lack of follow through…..

TEN TOP TIPS FOR WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM A YEAR LONG GRAND ADVENTURE AROUND THE WORLD

OR

GUIDE TO BEING AN UNHAPPY HORTI

😦 DO NOT, I repeat, do not get your appendix out just a few weeks after getting back and 2 days before Xmas. And do not get a secondary infection that leaves you sick for months and months. Keep ones appendix firmly where it belongs. Who knew one little appendix leaving the building could be so much trouble? Ones doctor should also not look as young as Doogie Howser. I think his stitching was of kindergarten skill level as I still get the odd alarming pain 12 months down the track.

😦 DO NOT then be all sick, pathetic and moody so when you have a beloved visitor come all the way from Scotland for Xmas they have a terrible time and nearly never ever want to speak to you again. So so so so so sorry.

😦 DO NOT have a colonoscopy. Nobody needs to see what’s up there.

😦 DO NOT let radiator in car overheat and nearly blow up, need towing and replacing on the hottest day of the year.

😦 DO NOT let your house get struck by lightening and lose all phone and internet for weeks.

😦 DO NOT prang your car whilst driving nephew around the Gold Coast which then requires 2 weeks of repairs.

😦 DO NOT fall off ladder whilst attempting to do something beyond ones skill set and get bruises the size of Tasmania on ones butt. Ouch! I have photos but I’m not sharing 🙂

😦 DO NOT daydream wistfully about getting back on a plane and do nothing about it.

😦 DO NOT then just give up and pretty much stay home and catch up on a years worth of TV & movies while there is beautiful weather outside and you live just metres from paradise.

A bit of local paradise

😦 DO NOT stop writing, when it is something that brings you much joy, satisfaction and sorely needed creative outlet.

😦 DO NOT stop visiting gardens and writing about them. Ones horticultural brain gets into a funk and becomes slow, stupid and forgetful. One sounds and feels much smarter when one can spout off long complicated Latin sounding names.

That’s 11! I overachieved at underachieving! There are surely more. What ever the other crappy things about what not to do I’m pretty sure I did them. And that was just the first 3 months of 2014! Unhappy horti homecoming.

ANYHOO

2014 wasn’t all bad. When I wasn’t sulking, glued to the screen or generally mooching around feeling sorry for myself I did manage to pick myself up, wipe the self absorption from my eyes, leave my own pity party and do a few grand things.

🙂 I DID visit my favourite local gallery with a spectacular view and find something huggable.

The beautiful location of the Tweed River Regional Gallery

🙂 I DID visit my favourite forest that I used to live next to and find something huggable.

Nightcap National Park and Flooded Gums, Eucalyptus grandis

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Hoop Pine – Araucaria cunninghamii LOVE. Very cool native tree and eminently huggable.

🙂 I DID visit the local Crystal Castle with its Dalai Lama sanctioned stupa, oversized crystals, giant Buddhas and lush gardens. My nephews following the familial tradition found something to hug.

🙂 I DID catch up with friends and family for some fun times

Bloody fabulous Marys with Jaz

Prawntastic ( or Shrimptastic for my American friends)

Bonnie the neighbour’s dog was happy to have me back and firmly refused to get off the furniture. FYI that strange looking creature is a real breed – Brussels Griffon. Deliberately bred – who knew?!

Me & my 94 year old grandmother. Your honour, it’s genetic. I rest my case.

🙂 I DID visit some other local places of natural beauty but I was all sick and pathetic at the time.

Natural Arch in southern QLD

Lush palm filled subtropical rainforest of southern QLD

🙂 I DID go on a road trip with my mate Angus through the beauty of southern NSW and the wine region of northern Victoria.

Glorious view from Feathertop Winery in Victoria towards Mount Buffalo

The Big Merino. Even with my prodigious hugging skills this was too big for me. Back to the old faithful Ta-Da pose. Another FYI for my American friends, Australia has a strange propensity towards BIG things as tourist attractions. Big Bananas, Mangos, Prawns, Pineapples and so forth.
Why? ? Because we can

🙂 I DID work at the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show with Angus and sell plants, plants and more plants.

🙂 I DID finally go back to work and participate in the creation of this

🙂 I DID revisit a garden I helped create a couple of years ago and was suitably impressed.

l

Lush!

Swamp Banksia – Banksia robur

Guardians of the Garden

🙂 I DID a major life change and sold this

And bought this

And now I live very close to and swim every day in this

Yep poor me. I’m living in hell.

Christmas 2014 was almost ruined because of this just a few metres from my house but the gallant local fire brigade saved us.

My view went from this

To this! Bit too close for any kind of comfort

Yikes!

THE TROUBLE with coming home from a grand adventure is that everything at home is simply not that grand. For most of the previous year I had been on the move constantly, changing towns and countries every few days. Something new, unseen and undiscovered to be experienced around every bend. Even the bad days are better when travelling.

Another example of the hellish area in which I live. The beautiful Brunswick pub with the glorious Poinciana in full bloom. Delonix regia

Meanwhile I live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet in the so called lucky country however to me seemed it was just as I left it. The same, already discovered. Not true of course. Australia is full of undiscovered wonders I am yet to see, I was just wallowing in my pity party and post adventure culture shock. After a few weeks of catching up with friends and family I was all done and ready to go again. If only I had. (If only I had a bottomless source of money, like the bottomless Magic Pudding. Mmmmm pudding.)

I didn’t unpack my trusty suitcase Gretel the Green for weeks and continued to live out of her in utter denial of my stationary reality. I felt no attachment to my house and belongings and didn’t unpack many of my stored clothes and belongings for about 6 months. I could and possibly should have sold it all lock stock and smoking barrel right there and then. But the longer I was home and surrounded by belongings and comforts I slowly got sucked back into the materialism that is ordinary life. All of a sudden STUFF became important again. Ugh- stuff! The bane of the traveller. Admittedly my health was an issue affecting my ability to be on the move for nearly 6 months however it was and is all my stuff that weighs me down.

And now I’ve bought a new house and have even more stuff. I got rid of some old stuff and bought new stuff. I’m stuffed!

SICKNESS – STATIONARY AND STUFFED

TREATMENT – TRAVEL AND PACK LIGHT

OBSERVATION – Travelling happy horti is infinitely cooler, happier and more fun than home horti.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION – Go on many short adventures, even if they are merely close to home.

PLANT FILES from the wondrous subtropical climate of northern NSW and Southern QLD both native & exotic

Zingiber spectabile – Beehive ginger

Stream Lily – Helmholtzia glaberrima. Beautiful native found in moist places

Malaysian Grape/Orchid – Medinella myriantha

Burrawang. Lepidozamia peroffskyana – native cycad

AND FINALLY A FEW FUNNIES

Meet Frank

My new house came complete with a Green Tree Frog in my toilet. I called him Frank

Still life with Buddha & Cicada. Can’t get more Aussie than that!

If you look closely you’ll see my beer cooler sums me up nicely. A thoughtful gift from my dear friend Mike from Texas. Smiling but looking a bit peaky post surgery.

Dare I say it again? Watch this space.

Cheers!

GOD HELP USA 24 – MEXICO & MOTORCYCLES

This is it! My last adventure before I headed home, and it sure was a grand one. A great grand adventure.

LESSER SPOTTED TUCSON

Way, way, way back in Belfast I made a new friend at Garrick’s Pub. I did this by insulting the poor fella in the most charming way. I called him old. Imagine that? Despite my insufferable cheek we became friends over a couple of ales and he invited me to visit Tucson, Arizona if I was ever passing through. Poor bastard didn’t know what he was getting himself into. As it turned out I had a week left in America after my National Parks tour that I didn’t know what to do with so off I popped to Tucson. Hello Jimmy D.

I didn’t get to see much of Tucson, (pronounced Tooson) but I did get rewarded with a couple of very cool wildlife moments. A mother and kitten Bobcat sighting in my friends backyard on my first morning there and the sounds of a coyote pack yapping up a storm on my last evening. Apparently small pets tend to go mysteriously missing from time to time. There are many hopeful Lost Dog posters. Not lost – eaten!

Mummy Bobcat

Baby Bobcat. Hello kitty!

Less than half an hour after landing in Tucson I found myself at its newest and only Aussie pub talking to the publican Glenn from Perth and listening to an itinerant musician from the Gold Coast named Squid sing one of the best renditions of Waltzing Matilda ever followed by a litany of songs by bands like The Church and Redgum. Surreal.

I never did get to try one of those sausage rolls.

The next day we bundled me up into a way too large leather jacket, plonked me on the back of a Harley Davidson and rode to Mexico for one last grand adventure before I came home. I didn’t publish this post until after we were back safe so nobody could spill the beans to my mother. She won’t be happy but she can at least find out way after the fact.

Our destination was Puerto Penasco for a motorbike rally. Yep, this happy tree hugging hippy chick went all bad biker bitch! Before I get to share all about that anthropological experience we had to get there.

There were many advantages to a long ride on the back of a motorbike for this happy hugging horti. It was basically a four hour hug with uninterrupted views of nature. Woohoo. I was like a little koala back there. The Harley was a very comfortable machine and my friend very kindly stopped every hour so my butt didn’t get too sore. I was glad for that jacket (even though I looked like a complete unit) as there was a chill wind coming off the desert.

Unit!

From Tucson to Puerto Penasco is around 350 kms. The journey begins in Arizona’s Saguaro fields and eventually through Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument before we reached the Mexican border. Gets a little less interesting after that. The border is easy to get through, a little harder to come home. The landscape is mostly flat and dry with the odd peak in the distance.

The Organ Pipe Cactus, Stenocereus thurberi is native to Mexico and just that particular region in the USA. Not dissimilar to the Saguaro in that their pollination is mostly done by bats at night and has edible fruit, however it is vastly different in that they have many branches all coming from a single trunk just above the ground. The other predominant species like the Barrel Cactus and Ocatillo weren’t looking their best at that time of year. I just have to come back! Damn. It would be a treat to come through in Spring when they all burst into flower.

Organ Pipe Cactus

PUERTO PENASCO

Puerto Penasco translates as Rocky Point in English and is in Sonora, a free zone area in Mexico. It was traditionally a fishing village and that industry remains today going hand in hand with the American resort based tourism and their insatiable hunger for shrimp. The seafood on offer was pretty damn impressive, we did eat some tasty morsels. They even have a shrimp god. All hail the almighty giant prawn.

I love shrimp!

There is a very colourful historical story attached to this town. Back in prohibition times an enterprising man came south of the border, built a hotel, drilled a well and began a thriving alcohol based tourism business for thirsty Americans. Sadly at some point he fell out with the locals and retaliated by burning down the hotel, blowing up the water well and leaving town. Take that! Today the beach is lined with condos in various states of construction. The economic woes of the world are very evident here as the money went back north or just plain stopped.

Our accommodation in Puerto Penasco was gorgeous. A five bedroom, five bathroom apartment on the ninth floor of a beachfront condominium. Breathtaking views of the sea, pelicans, dolphins, a heated pool and spa all right there.

Yep. That’s one ugly view

THE ROCKY POINT MOTORBIKE RALLY

I never imagined at the beginning of this year that I would find myself in Mexico at a bikers rally. Actually I never imagined myself at any time in my life ever at a bikers rally. Carpe diem. One wacky adventure after another. Hmm what can I say? Wow! Not really my scene but wow!

Motorcyclists are a breed apart. Every year thousands of leather clad guys and gals descend on this small town for some wild times. They stare at each other’s bikes, show off, do burnouts on their tyres, they drink, they party, buy cheap Mexican pharmaceuticals, visit the strip clubs and for some reason convince women to show their breasts for beads. Strings of cheap beads for boobs! I kept my puppies firmly under wraps. I can’t say I really understood or agreed with any of it but it sure is one hell of a spectacle. For the most part everyone is just there to let off some steam in an alternate reality for a couple of days. Anything goes in Mexico after all. Yes there were a few outlaw gangs in attendance but mostly it seemed to be a friendly peaceable event. For the four nights that we were there we really only spent one day and evening amongst the madness. Happy days. The rest of the time I could be found by the beach and pool.

Viagra anyone?

By the time we got to the ride home it was t-shirt weather so I got to ditch the ridiculous oversized jacket and just enjoy the breeze (and the chapped lips). Of course I was a pro by then and the journey home was over all too soon. The longest part is the queue at the border as they check that you are not an escaping illegal. I was wishing I was so they could send me back. It was hard to leave.

NEXT STOP AUSTRALIA

That’s right folks, the grand adventure is over. I’m going home. Sad face. Seven and a half months of travel done and dusted. 226 days. 7 months and 12 days. 32 weeks and 2 days. I found an app that works that out for you! Basically, not long enough but longer than most I know. France, Spain, Italy, Switzerland, England, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, USA. I mightn’t stay home for long. I don’t think these itchy feet of mine are ever going to rest. They’ve got a taste for the road. Watch this space.

A few last pretties

Bloody Mary cures what ails you in Mexico

Jimmy D and I didn’t have any fun at all!

The last hug!

GOD HELP USA 22 – SAND DUNES AND SAN DIEGO

The journey from Scottsdale to San Diego is through a vastly changing landscape. Flat desert land, huge cattle feed lots in the distance on treeless plains that you can smell for miles -ugh, vast sand dunes and then finally up through a winding rocky hillside with large sandstone boulders replete with cactus. The Mexican border was close by much of the time. It is a long and imposing fence. We attempted to get up close to the border for a better look but there was a bunch of army dudes with rifles. We hightailed it out of there but I did manage to get one quick snap.

Those black spots on the distance are the poor cows

Mexican border fence

The sand dunes were amazing. Popular with people to play on their dune buggies. I’m reasonably sure the dudes we saw tearing up the dunes were also the police “patrolling”. We conquered just one on foot. I feel sorry for any Mexicans trying to get the USA via that route.

BALBOA PARK

Balboa Park is San Diego’s equivalent of New York’s Central and San Francisco’s Golden Gate Parks. A massive green space in the middle of the city and home to a zoo, a bunch of museums, gardens, even a bowling green. The park has a free shuttle which only goes between the visitor’s centre and car parks and that means a lot of walking. Not my favourite thing.

San Diego Zoo is meant to be one of the best zoos in the world. Before we got to San Diego I had just watched the documentary Blackfish showing the use and abuse of Orcas (Killer Whales) at Seaworld and other parks around the world which left me horrified. I couldn’t face any place animals are confined after that.

How I like my animals at zoos. Fake or plant based.

Instead of the zoo I decided to have a purely happy horti plant day and explore the park. My first stop was the Desert Garden, a cliff face collection of cacti and succulents. This happy horti was initially in heaven. The landscape held some of the largest specimens of succulents, unusual trees and palms I’ve ever beheld yet sadly not one damn thing was labelled. FRUSTRATING. Unhappy horti. Thankfully I could identify some without help.

Barrel Cactus, Echinocactus, two different types

Madagascan Palm, Pachypodium lamerei

Boab or Baobab Tree, Adansonia spp.

Jade Tree, Portulacaria afra

And a bunch of tree-like ones reminding me of Dragon Tree Dracaena Draco and Tree Aloe Aloe Barbaraceae but I am unsure.

The following look like Candelabra Cactus, Euphorbia species and were in flower:-

These look like they are from the Euphorbia family too and are with some some nice palms, especially the blue foliaged Bismarck Palm:-

Some related to Prickly Pear, Opuntia spp. perhaps

Orchid Tree, Bauhinia spp.

The Botanical Building which reputedly has a great collection of plants was closed! Who closes a main attraction on a Thursday for maintenance? Weird. Don’t they know Monday is traditional maintenance day? In front was a sizeable pond with water lily, koi and turtles.

I visited the Redwood Circle but they were looking a bit sad. They have trouble growing them this far south. As with San Francisco there are loads of Aussie plants, particularly the gum trees.

More Aussies!

Brachychiton discolor or bidwilli. Probably the former and also known as Lacebark Tree or Pink Kurrajong. Related to our more popular Flame Tree Brachychiton acerifolius, also in attendance but not in flower right now.

Moreton Bay Fig, Ficus macrophylla, an unexpected but happy encounter was with this old friend. Looking for all the world at home here as if it was spreading in a cow paddock at home.

My mystery tree in San Diego was this bizarre gnarly twisted plant that I eventually identified as, of all things, the Australian Coastal Tea Tree Leptospermum laevigatum. This is a plant with which I am familiar but I’ve never seen them do this in my neck of the woods! Wow. Looking for all the world sometimes like a fallen dead tree but with tufts of verdant foliage sprouting out. Very popular with my friends the squirrels for free accom and shade.

Seed pods

Coastal Tea Tree with portaloo. Nice

Happy squirrel striking a pose.

California Pepper Tree Schinus molle
This was the squirrels next favourite tree. Beautiful weeping foliage on gnarly trunks with red berries that look like peppercorns. Native to South America and the Peruvian Andes, it is a bit of a pest in Africa, Australia and even here.

I wandered around the park for a few hours but was underwhelmed by the other botanical offerings. It wasn’t that it wasn’t any good, it was more that much of it was stuff I’ve seen before. A hazard of being on the road for so long. Palms, Japanese Friendship Garden and the rather lame Alcazar Garden.

After I’d had my fill of the park I had enough time left to jump on the enjoyable but overpriced trolley tour of San Diego for a once around. It looked like a pretty cool town. Historic houses, Old Town with its funky shops, the Little Italy restaurant strip and the gorgeous sandy beach island of Coronado are all worthy of a better look someday. It was Halloween so I was doubly pleased. The streets were filled with costumed folk in search of candy. A feast for the eyes of cute, cute and more cute.

I think there is something there for the young and old alike!

My favourite trolley guide of the day was Vidal who got right into the spirit of things costume wise and treated us to very special performance of magic. Great fun.

NEXT STOP LA

GOD HELP USA 20 – GLAD AND BETTER THAN GREAT GRAND CANYON

GRAND CANYON

I made it! This was a bucket list item that I almost missed because of that idiotic government shutdown. Of all the things to consider as non essential! Blocking people from nature has got to be up there on top of the list of stupid.

A bright sun shiny day dawned for the big day accompanied by what I can only describe as a bitch of a wind. A relentless, biting icy cold wind that cut through several layers of clothing.

Happy but cold!

It sure as heck is a mighty big ditch. Standing close to the edge felt treacherous as any stray strong gust could blow me over like so much confetti. Hiking was out of the question so after wandering along as much of the edge as we could stand in the face of that wind we availed ourselves of one of the free shuttle buses around the park and headed indoors. It was a little frustrating to be there and not able to be outside really enjoying it. But at least we were there!!

OK, so I look like a hobo!

Optimistic as ever we headed back out to a prime viewing point for the famous Grand Canyon sunset only to be thwarted by cloud cover blown in by that treacherous wind. It was still beautiful.

Our fruitless sunset vigil was rewarded with a sighting of a herd of elks on the way home.

In celebration I hugged one!

The next morning the weather gods decided to be briefly kind to us and opened a short window of fine virtually windless weather so we could go for the helicopter ride we had scheduled for the previous day and was cancelled because of that bloody wind. Words cannot describe how excited I was. Woohoo yippee. I was being exceptionally annoying and humming the theme song to M*A*S*H all morning. Do doo do doo do do do.

Giddyup! I got to sit up front and centre next to the pilot.

The canyon is SO VAST! If it looks big from the edge, it looks huge from on high. The first drop off the edge of the canyon brought a scream of excitement or fear from all of our lips. Yeehaw! The feeling of sheer weightlessness as the canyon dropped a mile beneath might just be better than sex. Helicopters buffet in the breeze a bit like a boat in the ocean, a sensation I thoroughly enjoyed. Woohoo!
Even though we racing at over 120km an hour it felt as if we were barely moving or at times just hovering.

The scenery is spectacular. Huge rock formations, winding rivers, sandy vistas. One portion of the Colorado river that runs through the canyon is a brilliant turquoise thanks to the calcium carbonate in the rock. In monsoon season some of the waterfalls run that colour. That is something I would dearly like to see. Turquoise waterfalls. Back on the bucket list.

So we didn’t get to see it at its best, as the continuing cloud cover meant we weren’t treated to all the colour variations the rock and desert can experience throughout the day in response to the sun. The complex layers of the exposed rock is why the colours change so much. It is a geological exposure of the earth’s history. Layer upon layer of limestone, sandstone and shale from across the ages. Always humbling to be in the presence of such grandeur, age and history.

The helicopter flight was the definition of exhilarating! Right up there as one of the top experiences of my life. I bounced out of that helicopter like Tigger. Boing boing boing. Took me a little while to come down from that high. The pilots weren’t bad either! Mmmmm, so many reasons to come back.

There was even a bit of snow on the ground. No wonder it was cold.

PLANT FILES

Admittedly I was busy looking at the big hole in the ground and paying much attention to the plants but I did manage to notice a few things. Most were species I’ve seen again and again in these desert areas. Pinyon Pine, Yucca, Rabbitbrush, Ponderosa Pine, Prickly Pear and Cliffrose but there was a few newbies.

MANZANITA. I’ve been seeing this shrubby plant since Yosemite, which I finally identified as Manzanita thanks to a handout, Arctostaphylos, related to heather! Another plant that needs smoke or fire to germinate. At this time of the year their most interesting feature is peeling red bark.

Utah Juniper – Juniperus osteosperma. Gorgeous blue berries look great up against the red of the desert

Banana Yucca – Yucca baccata

Pinyon Pine – Pinus edulis

NEXT STOP SEDONA & SAN DIEGO

GOD HELP USA 16 – Z IS FOR ZION

ZION NATIONAL PARK, UTAH

Eternally grateful to leave Las Vegas behind we headed back out to the National Parks. Happy horti!

Zion National Park is all orange and gold, orange and gold. Orange Navajo sandstone and golden trees. Am loving the Fall.

In what to me was one big tease, we had only 2.5 hours in Zion to see as much as possible. Zion National Park is by comparison to other parks quite small, the whole area is only 229 square miles (590kms). The main attraction, Zion Canyon, is 15 miles (24km) long and at most half a mile (800m) deep. Driving into the main canyon is not allowed and instead a free shuttle bus from the visitors centre takes you down to the numerous trails. The shuttle buses were full every trip, obviously a very popular park. Climbers love the sandstone walls and we did see some crazy people scaling the vertical cliff faces. Nutters.

There be people on that cliff face!

Right at the end of the canyon road is a trail that leads you along the riverbank and then to a section called the Temple of Sinawawa. From there you can actually get into the water and hike to any area known as The Narrows. Without the right gear and time this just wasn’t an option for us. You need to be properly prepared with waders, water shoes, poles and loads of time! I think some of the really special stuff to see is up that river. Perhaps someday.

Zion is amazingly fertile for somewhere in the middle of the desert. They don’t get a lot of rain but when it does come the canyon is prone to flash flooding. The other main source of water is snow melt in the spring.

The park is frequented by loads of wildlife and we saw the usual squirrels on the take, deer and even a hapless snake that I had to save from being poked with a stick by an ignorant Frenchman. There was one location popular with condors but none flying this day. I’m still waiting for an encounter with the elusive mountain lion.

PLANT FILES

The plant life was really diverse and we got to see a few real treasures.

The biggest surprise was to find Maidenhair Fern, Adiantum sp, growing on the lower cliff faces in the shade.

Desert holly – Atriplex hymenelytra, a type of saltbush. Drought and salt tolerant.

Four Wing Saltbush – Atriplex canescens, used for both food and medicine

Prickly Pear Cactus – Opuntia phaeacantha

Teddybear Cholla – Opuntia bigelovii. Great Latin name! It has painful spikes. Same family as Prickly Pear

Broom Snakeweed – Gutierrezua, a little bright yellow aster family plant

Cliffrose /Desert Bitterbrush / Mojave Antelope Brush Purshia (syn Cowania) sp. An arid plant related to roses with little white flowers followed by unusual feather like fruit.

The yellow and gold mostly come courtesy of Quaking Aspen – Populus tremuloides and Fremont Cottonwood – Populus fremontii

Happy hugging horti is back!

Rabbitbrush with some happy bees

At the end of the day I had a lot of photos of golden trees and orange rocks. It was a tough business choosing which ones to keep.

NEXT STOP BRYCE CANYON

Shifty eyed happy golden glowing horti

GOD HELP USA 13 – YOSEMITE YIP YIP YIPPEE

Yosemite! Yippee.

After all the uncertainty I made it! The first in a series of National Parks to come. To say I was excited was an understatement. One Happy Horti.

I’ve got a great new small group of only 6 people plus our uber relaxed veteran guide. Comfy van and no trailer means that we get everywhere in good time. Happy days.

Our accommodation at the awesome Yosemite Bug Hotel just outside the National Park is just what the doctor ordered. Quirky little cabins in the woods with hideous but cosy decor. It is a little self contained universe with a restaurant serving excellent food and booze options three times a day PLUS a hot tub & sauna downstairs to unwind in after a big days hiking.

Yep that’s ugly on the inside

When I say hiking, I mean half a hike. My legs and feet decided to betray me this day and I could only manage a little of the wonders I was there to see. Didn’t matter, I was deliriously happy to simply be there. I made it most of the way to Vernal Falls.

Vernal Falls

There was someone much worse off than me that day on e track to the falls. Some poor old bloke had a heart attack and died. It was a great day to be alive!

The park is absolutely huge. A couple of weeks here would only just be enough and we had a mere day and a half. There is a multitude of trails, climbing and camping options.

My first impression was just how wonderfully gold everything is. The grasses, shrubs and trees are positively shimmering in golden goodness. The mountain peaks are truly grand towering above reminding me of the mere puny human I am. All made of granite and some polished to a mirror finish thanks to thousands of years of weather. Despite its hardness the granite is prone to landslides and there have been some devastating ones over the years.

Sheer golden beauty

A giant boulder of granite split in half!

As it is Fall there isn’t much in flower but I do find a couple of little gems.

California Fuchsia – Zauschernia californica

Aster spp.

There is also not much water around. I would love to come back in spring when the meadows burst into bloom. Damn, another trip overseas! Most of the lakes and waterfalls are dry and the streams are down to a trickle. The trees are predominantly conifers with which I am unfamiliar. Ponderosa Pine Pinus ponderosa, Douglas Fir Pseudotsuga menziesii, Incense Cedar Calocedrus decurrens, White Fir Abies concolor are the ones I manage to identify thanks to a nifty laminated plant guide I buy. The air is fragrant with a spicy scent I eventually track to an assuming tree Californian Laurel Umbellularia californica. So boring to look at it wasn’t worth photographing but the crushed leaves smelt amazing.

Some kind of giant conifer love

It is the Giant Redwood Sequoiadendron giganteum I’m here to see. They have some magnificent specimens here in Mariposa Grove. The big ones are nearly 2000 years old. It is sad to know that many great giants from the park were cut down to build houses in San Fran that subsequently burnt down in the great fires after the earthquake in 1909. What a waste.

These Redwoods are different from the coastal species Sequoia sempervirens which rate as the worlds tallest trees getting to 99 metres. The Giant Sequoia by contrast can reach 76 metres but have a much larger basal diameter of 12 metres.

What I find particularly interesting about Redwoods is their dependency on fire for germination. In Australia we have natives like Banksias that need smoke or fire to assist seeds in germination. With these trees they need the fire to burn away the leaf litter and expose minerals soils for optimum germination. Nature and the indigenous people used to take care of this need for fire. It was misguidedly stopped for many years by well meaning humans which put the already depleted trees on the backfoot for a while. Now they know better and do controlled burns.

Yosemite was saved as a National Park thanks to John Muir, a naturalist who loved the park and Galen Clark who discovered the Mariposa Grove. Thanks to them Honest Abe took some time out during the Civil War to sign the paperwork setting the park aside. All the larger trees in the grove have name

The Redwoods have very shallow roots so we are not allowed close to them. Walking around the trees could cause them to fall and the larger older ones are fenced off. I am eternally grateful just to be standing beneath them, basking in their grandeur.

I manage a fake hug! I’m hugging them in spirit.

The Fallen Monarch, thought to have been down for centuries.

Dead tree hug

California Tunnel Tree

Faithful Couple

The Bachelor and Three Graces

The Grizzly Giant bottom and top.

WILDLIFE

Yosemite is naturally full of wildlife but of course I see none. These are the top of my wish list. Perhaps another park can deliver the goods!

Black Bear
Still waiting to see that bear! Along the road in Yosemite there are many Watch out for Bear signs. Sadly this means a bear was hit and killed there.
Mule Deer – I did see some of these gorgeous creatures but didn’t get the camera out in time.
Woodpeckers – apparently prolific but I missed out.
Mountain Lions – Meow!
Squirrels – there are always squirrels but ho hum

NEXT STOP MOJAVE DESERT, DEATH VALLEY NATIONAL PARK AND GOD HELP ME LAS VEGAS

A few more pretties from around the park

California Buckeye – Aesculus californica
Deciduous in summer with poisonous seed pods the native Americans used to stun fish but could be eaten safely is soaked for many days.

Beautiful bark

Half Dome

Friendly locals

I just never get sick of that view

Pure gold. Maple, Acer sp.

I feel so small!

GOD HELP USA 12 – SAN FRANCISCO SEA-LIONS & SOME

SAN FRANCSICO STORIES

Before coming to San Fran I was told the area called Tenderloin was full of homeless people so I booked into an area called SOMA. Turns out the homeless have no respect for boundaries and call SOMA home too. A short walk to the shops was a sad, scary and smelly gauntlet to run. The homeless population is larger here than any I’ve seen on my travels this year. Meanwhile their City Hall is covered in gold leaf. Money that could have been better spent elsewhere.

City Hall

Staying here is not for the faint hearted. As a consolation prize the hotel has an outdoor heated pool. San Fran in autumn is sunny and warm by day, chilly by night. Floating around in the warm water in the dark beneath the cold night air was sheer bliss, so I decided to forgive its crummy location.

Back on my own again I jumped on the local hop on hop off bus tour for a couple of days to see the city and got to see all the nice areas I could have been staying in. Doh!

PIER 39

Once upon a time (for 14 years) I had a dog called Baba. Baba was “special”. He was my boy and I loved him to be sure, but even I can admit that he was not the brightest crayon in the box. Those of you who knew him will remember his loud dopey sea-lion like bark and his fondness for water. He would often swim and bark at the same time! It was special.

Dear departed dopey dog Baba

So there I was the other day down at Pier 39 on the San Francisco waterfront and heard my dear departed dopey dog doing his darnedest. And not just one of him – but hundreds!

Pier 39 I discovered to my great joy, is home to a large sea lion colony that moved in some years ago after the last earthquake. The local fisherman complained at the inconvenience and the local council acted by attempting to move the colony on. Firstly they tried the simple means of chucking stuff at them. The sea lions turned the other cheek. Secondly they tried offending them with heavy metal music. The sea lions thought that rocking out was pretty cool and nodded their heads in approval. Finally the council told the fisherman to move on and gave the pier over to the colony. An old fashioned sit in!

The sea lions must have gone to the Mahatma Gandhi / Martin Luther King school of non violent protest.

Life in a sea lion colony is never boring and certainly never quiet. All day long, in between dips in the ocean and basking in the sun, they bark and bicker amongst themselves. Territory is constantly being battled over with long noisy bouts ending only when the loser falls into the ocean. I was utterly mesmerised and found myself sitting there for a long time simultaneously fascinated and wistful for my old dog. I went back day after day.

Everyone is a winner these days as the sea lions are hugely popular. Hence the pier is a thriving tourist destination with shops, some pretty good restaurants and one very good bar selling local beers. The whole area down by the waterside is a feast of fresh seafood, shopping and entertainment. It sure is pretty but Sydney harbour is still number one in my opinion.

I want in on that hug!

GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

Apparently I am very fortunate to be here in the Fall as I actually get to see this iconic symbol of San Francsico. In summer she is all fogged up. I don’t completely understand the phenomena but the combination of the summer heat with a chilly current that comes through this part of the Pacific Ocean at that time of year makes fog. Close enough. I’m just happy I can see it. The Golden Gate Bridge is not golden but painted in an appealing shade called International Orange. The name comes from the time when the area the bridge spans was known as the Golden Straits. Pretty.

The International Orange Bridge

The Golden Straits

GOLDEN GATE PARK

My bus driver tells me that Golden Gate Park is slightly bigger than New York’s Central Park. It certainly is huge and there is an awful lot of stuff going on here. I saw only a tiny fraction. My main regret is that I missed the bison paddock.

I STILL CALL AUSTRALIA HOME

Riding around on the top deck of an open air bus in this city is a real treat for me. I could be forgiven for imagining myself back in Australia. They LOVE Australian plants here and the plants love it right back. Eucalypts are everywhere and the air is redolent with their scent. Happy Aussie horti. Home sickness effectively neutralised!

Happy Blue Gum

The area on which the park was created was once sand dunes and at its inception they looked around for appropriate species. They approached my fair country and asked for Red Gum (I’m assuming Eucalyptus tereticornis) saplings and seeds as they were right for the location, fast growing and a useful timber tree. Australia complied and the trees duly grew fast and true. Alas when the city cut some down to utilise the timber they discovered the trees were in fact Blue Gum Eucalyptus globulus, not a useful timber variety of eucalyptus at all. The inner Aussie prankster in me wonders if some larrikin did it on purpose to have a go at “the yanks” (I know wrong side of the country but it is a local ignorant offensive stereotype – sorry) or if it was an honest mistake. The Blue Gum are so happy here they have become a bit of a weed. Snigger.

Happy Blue Gum towering over the de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park

Much of the park was designed and planted by a Scottish gardener John McLaren. Bonnie Johnny boy had a love of public green spaces, a particular hatred of Keep Off The Grass signs and an utter loathing of statues. He succeeded with the former and failed at the latter. The city will have its statues so he retaliated by hiding them behind trees. Some friends once had a statue made of him as a birthday joke which he reputedly hid in horror. After his death it was found and duly installed in the park. He doesn’t look happy. He loved his park so much he refused to retire and was permitted to live there in his cottage until he died at age 96. Testament that gardening is indeed good for you.

John McLaren

Just next door was another brilliant Scotsman, my old friend Robert Burns. Auld Lang Syne!

Monterey Cypress Cupressus macrocarpa is the local indigenous species doing very well here. Their tall silvery trunks with a canopy giving them the appearance of giant bonsais provide a stark beauty.

Happy grove of tree ferns

Golden Gate Park’s glasshouse based on London’s Kew Garden. Been there done that!

The California Academy of Science. A natural history museum complete with green roof I didn’t have time to explore.

JAPANESE TEA GARDEN

Yet another marvellous attraction inside the park is the Japanese Tea Garden. The gardens creators sadly suffered the indignity of being incarcerated in a Japanese internment camp during the war. Legend says that the fortune cookie, even though today adopted as a Chinese tradition, was in fact invented here in this very garden! It is a lovely space with all the factors one would expect in a Japanese style garden. Ponds, pagodas, fish, stepping stones, sculpted trees, maples, azaleas, conifers, balance and serenity now!

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BOTANIC GARDEN

The Aussie theme continued in the park as the Botanic Garden greeted me with a fine display of some of my favourite natives. Way to make a girl feel at home! Now that I’m 40, how long can I get away calling myself a girl? Rhetorical question.

Happy horti in front of happy Aussie plants.

I’ve can’t tell you how much mileage I’ve got out of my Red Sox hat that I got way back in Boston. I’m constantly being baled up either by Bostonians wanting to say hi (this photo taken by a Bostonian) or by disgruntled Giants fans whose team hasn’t done so well this year and can’t believe I dare to wear the hat here. It’s fun being a stirrer! Lucky for me all’s fair in love and baseball. I surely backed the right team as the Boston Red Sox are having an awesome season. Go Red Sox!

ANYWAY, the California climate is suitable for loads of Aussie plants that can be seen not only here in the gardens but throughout the city. Callistemon, Tea Tree, Acacia, Banksia, Kangaroo Paw, Correa, Grevillea, Helmholtzia Stream Lily, Doryanthes Gymea Lily and Tree Ferns. I kept unconsciously looking out for brown snakes as they have designed the garden to look like the bush and they have succeeded as it feels real. You can take the girl out of the bush…. Natural and scrubby and wild. I approved wholeheartedly.

Happy Banksia

Happy Corymbia ficifolia Western Australian Flowering Gum

Happy Correa

The California climate is equally agreeable to plants from other countries and climate zones like New Zealand, South Africa, Chile, and Southeast Asia and they are all well represented here. Not much was in flower besides the Aussies! Oi oi oi! Their pride and joy is a Mesoamerican Cloud Forest featuring plants from Mexico and Central America. Best of all in my opinion is the Californian Native Garden representing their locals and a 100 year old Redwood Forest that I spent some time bonding with.

Mexico’s Shrubby Fuchsia. Fuchsia Paniculata

California Poppy, Eschscholzia californica

Redwood – Sequoia sempervirens

THE PRESIDIO

The Presidio right next to Golden Gate Bridge is a former military base now evolved into housing, businesses, museums, a college and parks. George Lucas, Mr Star Wars himself, has set up his digital film studio there. The Military Cemetery on site is depressingly large. I spent a morning down there on my final day here to finally witness the phenomena that is the fog. Oh boy, it just keeps on coming. The bridge was entirely shrouded and is really cold. Mark Twain is credited as saying that the coldest winter he experienced was a summer in San Fran. I get it!

Chrissy Field at the Presidio

Too many headstones

There should be a bridge there!

CABLE CAR AND STREETCAR TOWN

Strap on your patience for a ride on one of their historic cable cars, a purely San Fran experience. I felt really sorry for the drivers the one day I used it to visit my sea-lion friends, as getting people on and off the overcrowded cars is a bit like herding cats. People are stupid! The streetcars come from cities all over the world including Australia’s Melbourne. The electric bus system means the city is a whole mess of ugly electrified cables.

Don’t touch the wires!

EARTHQUAKES

The city has suffered through a couple of major earthquakes in 1906 and 1989. The earlier quake in 1906 consequently saw 80% of the city burn and the loss of 3000 peoples lives. The 1989 quake struck during a baseball World Series match, killed 63 people throughout California and damaged major infrastructure like roads. The fact that it occurred during a baseball game probably saved many lives as they were safe in the stadium rather than on the affected roads.

NEIGHBOURHOODS

SF is nowhere near as big as New York, the buildings are not nearly as tall which is lovely but it is more complicated to get around. They have a few different transport systems rather than the comprehensive subway system of New York. While I am here their BART train system is on strike, in keeping with the overall stupid USA bureaucracy theme, so I kept my exploring to my days on the hop on hop off bus. The strike meant the traffic was appalling.

Just for show! No BART, no working.

San Fran has a bunch of funky and colourful neighbourhoods where not everything perished in the earthquakes tragedies.

Haight Ashbury, once hippy central and still living off the marijuana fumes and psychedelia today. Nimbin and Byron Bay eat your heart out.

Alamo Square, a village home to the prettiest Victorian houses known as the Painted Ladies, famously seen on TV shows like Full House and Charmed. The buses aren’t allowed to go past any more but the neighbourhood is still full of beautiful photo-worthy houses.

Lombard Street is famous for being the ’Crookedest Street’, a short downhill zigzagging section of road reputedly only for the brave in small cars. It is said that a limo that attempted it had to be craned out. I would have paid money to see that! I made the strenuous hike up the hill to view the street and was spectacularly underwhelmed. Child’s play. Ive driven on roads in Ireland, Scotland and Australia that puts those bends to shame. A clear case of exaggeritis!

The “Crooked” Street

North Beach, originally settled by the Italian fisherman still wears its heritage proudly by painting their flag on the lampposts. Ahh Italy, how I miss thee. Weirdly the local church on Washington Square in this village, St Peters and Paul’s street address is 666. I gave it a miss. Can never be too careful!

Chinatown here has the biggest population of Chinese outside China making Cantonese the second most common language in San Fran.

Cow Hollow, once had cows, now it has hotels.

The Theatre District has a couple of beautiful old theatres. My favourite was The Alcazar, a former temple, whose original architect unbeknownst to the trusting devotees had “Allah is Good and so is Patterson Ross” inscribed in Arabic on the walls. Love a good prank.

The Alcazar

ALCATRAZ

Half my time in San Fran the infamous Alcatraz prison was closed due to the daft Government Shutdown. By the time it had reopened all desire to go there had fled. Clearly visible from the waters edge was in any case I decided as much as I needed to see. What could top my visit to the Angola Prison Rodeo as a jail experience in any case?

AND THAT IS THAT FOR SAN FRANCISCO

THE GOVERNMENT HAVE DONE THE SENSIBLE THING AND REOPENED THE PARKS

NEXT STOP YOSEMITE – YIPPEE

But first a little more San Fran

Funky San Fran street art

Feeling the love at Union Square. One of four hearts at each corner of the square. Nice

Seafood paradise at Fisherman’s Wharf with the incomparable Les Edwin Show on drums keeping everyone happy!

The Palace of Fine Arts in the Presidio

The Palace all fogged up.

Palace security guard – Raccoon at work

I just loved this house and tree display

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

GOD HELP USA 10 – NEW ORLEANS NEARLY NORMAL NAWLINS

LAFAYETTE

On our way to New Orleans we stopped at a town called Lafayette known for its Zydeco music. On the way there our guide helpfully played some to get us in the mood. After a half hour or so I’d had more than enough! It sounded like a bunch of blues, country, hillbilly, folk and rock musicians got put in a dryer. I stayed in that night.

CREOLE VS CAJUN

Now that we are further south we need to understand the difference between Cajun and Creole. Cajuns are the descendants of the French Colonists from the Canadian maritimes area that after refusing to accept British rule were deported here. Others were deported elsewhere in the USA but the ones here identify as Cajun.

Creole on the other hand identify as people born here and their heritage can range from African/Caribbean/Spanish/French extractions.

I think that’s right. Apparently they all get very insulted if you mix them up. Fair enough.

NEW ORLEANS – NEARLY NORMAL NAWLINS

There ain’t nothin normal about Nawlins. That for the record is how the locals pronounce New Orleans.

MARDI GRAS

Our first stop in New Orleans was Mardi Gras World, a world dedicated to the abnormal and fantastical. One of many warehouses around the city, this one is open to the public for tours and operates full time building floats for the extravaganza that is Mardi Gras. They are also commissioned for parades in other cities or even movie studios making huge characters. Nothing is thrown out, they recycle everything, transforming characters and floats year after year. The tour is a very cool look behind the scenes and watching the artists at work.

Bizarrely Mardi Gras has its roots in the Catholic festival of Lent and the feast before its 40 days and nights of fasting. They’ve turned the pre-Lent Tuesday feast into one hell of party! They call it Fat Tuesday here but I know it from my Catholic schooling as Shrove Tuesday. As you might have guessed, the Catholicism didn’t stick. They’ve managed to stretch that one Fat Tuesday out into weeks as the festivities begin in January sometime. That’s one humungous fat Tuesday!

THE FRENCH QUARTER

New Orleans has a unique feel with the blending of the many rich cultures creating one hell of a vibe. By day it’s all funky architecture and markets, by night it is crazy party town. Bourbon and Frenchman Streets are where it’s at. The music spilling out of the bars is very cool but the strips clubs and over the top drunkenness is not. The amazing thing about the French Quarter is the alcohol laws. You can go into any bar and get a drink to go and walk the streets with it, albeit in a plastic cup. My first New Orleans beverage was a mean Mojito more rum than anything else. Oh yeah.

They do love their hot sauce

I was a bit under the weather again with a nasty cough (fondly called kennel cough by one of my travel mates – woof) so didn’t get to indulge quite as much as I would have liked. My hotel back in Clarksdale was mouldy with an unhealthy air conditioner and something frighteningly questionable in the bed headboard. I blame it for my current state of disease.

What is that thing in my bed head?

MISSISSIPPI STEAMING

A cruise down the Mississippi on a proper Steamboat with dinner and a dixieland jazz band is the only way to travel in New Orleans. The food was OK but the band were brilliant. I was wishing I was dressed like a flapper so I could Charleston in style. The boat has an old fashioned calliope, a steam piano which produces a very loud musical pipe sound. I found that noise altogether unpleasant and could happily go the rest of my life without hearing it again. Somebody got married on the boat before our cruise and the calliope played the wedding march. Ugh! A sound that cannot be unheard! Mechanics nerds can tour the engine room which I’m sure is fascinating but was an experience wasted on me. The boat cruises leisurely up and down the Mississippi taking in the bright of New Orleans. I could have cruised up and down all night. A beautiful, all too brief evening.

SWAMP TOUR

A half hour or so out of New Orleans is the swamp. It resembles saltwater mangroves but is fresh water. We are here to see some alligators which we do and then some!

The swamp is not a place you’d want to visit without a guide. It would be real easy to get lost in the eerie circuitous watery alleys. A scary thought with all those sharp teeth around. The swamp tour guys have a friendship of sorts with the alligators. Perhaps it could be better described as an armistice. They feed them little frankfurters and marshmallows, of which they are uncommonly fond, and in return they get nice and close to the boats for the tourists. As long as we keep all our bits inside the boat we get to keep them. They’ve never lost a tourist or any of their bits yet!

Let sleeping alligators lie

Uh oh, we woke him

Besides the alligators, the swamp has an abundance of wildlife and is full of fish, herons, egrets, lizards, snakes, turtles, spiders, frogs and dragonflies. The abundance of dragonflies means that there are no mosquitoes – during the day at least. You’d have to be out of your tree to be there at night and deserve to get bitten.

Further down the river is the housing. People actually live here full time amongst the alligators and other critters. Nutters! Other dwellings are just weekenders and nearly all are only accessible by water. The alligators do hang around down there but as the tours don’t feed them in those locales they tend not to get close to the houses. They know where the marshmallows are! People even swim in the river in front of their houses. You couldn’t pay me to do that for love or money. Amongst the houses and fishing shacks is evidence of some that didn’t fare too well during Hurricane Katrina. Early logging in the swamps of the Cypress has left the area vulnerable and unprotected. It must have been terrifying.

SWAMP PLANT FILES

Speaking of Cypress, the trees here grow directly out of the water and all have big swollen trunks. Bald Cypress Taxodium distichum draped in Spanish Moss, Water Tupelo or Tupelo Gum Nyssa aquatica and Swamp Cottonwood Populus heterophylla are the predominant species. Apparently honey made from bees that feed on Water Tupelo is really special. I never did get to try. I spotted one lonely Swamp Lily Crinum americanum in flower but the boat didn’t get close enough for a picture. It looked just like a species we have back in Australia that we also call Swamp Lily Crinum pedunculatum. Dwarf Palmetto Sabal minor, a small fan palm usually growing only around 1 metre was a surprise local native.

The swamp has a bunch of problems with foreign invasive plants. The main ones I spotted were Salvinia minima (a floating fern that forms a thick carpet on top of the water completely blocking out sunlight), Water Hyacinth Eichornia crassipes (with pretty purple flowers) and Wild Taro Colocasia esculenta (elephant ears). All typically domestic escapees from gardens, ponds or aquariums. I did a bit of reading and that is just a few of the many non native plants causing issues up and down their waterways. Just like home. Same shit, different country.

Salvinia weed carpet making life difficult in the swamp

Wild Taro taking over

THE GARDEN DISTRICT

Fans of Anne Rice will be familiar with the New Orleans Garden District as she has used it as the backdrop of many novels. Her vivid descriptions of grand houses hidden amidst gardens dripping with foliage and flowers in the steamy Nawlins heat has long lived with me. She has in fact owned a couple of homes here. My companions and I opted for a self guided walking tour as the professional tours are a little pricey.

The Garden District was established by the first Americans to settle in the area after the Louisiana Purchase. Initially not welcomed by the local Creoles they established themselves in style with their own church, theatre, cemetery and even a railroad. The homes are lavish and ornate representing the different architectural styles of the time and to show off their considerable wealth.

The house used as the Nursing Home in the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The houses did not disappoint the imagery in my mind. They truly are grand and gorgeous, however the gardens did a little. It appears that over the years the gardens have got smaller as they’ve subdivided properties to build more houses. As luck would have it all of the flowering is pretty much done for the year and of course modern sensibilities mean that everything is nicely tamed.

Anne Rice’s house once upon a time

Literary inspiration next door

GARDEN DISTRICT PLANT FILES

Giant Magnolia grandiflora line the streets and in some cases tower over the houses. It would be something to be here when those giant white scented flowers were in bloom. The bees and I would be very happy hortis! Crepe myrtle Lagerstroemia indica is the number two popular tree and even when not flowering their pretty trunks reaching for the sky have a beauty all their own. Giant Southern Live Oak Quercus virginiana dwarf the houses and their long limbs stretching across the narrow streets add much to the ambience of the district. It is a pleasure just to wander the streets soaking it all in. Happy horti.

Magnolia grandiflora lording it over the house

Crepe Myrtle pretty in pink and green

Giant Southern Live Oak shading and screening the house and adding an air of mystery

FINALLY one that lives up to my literary imaginings

LAFAYETTE CEMETERY

Smack bang in the centre of the Garden District is their burial ground, Lafayette Cemetery. I was all psyched to get good and spooked but it was not to be. I thought maybe it was the one used in the Double Jeopardy movie which dramatised it as extremely eerie. I’m sensing a pattern here. I think perhaps I’ve watched way too many movies and read a few too many books. Admittedly it was a sun shiny day and there was no ex husband trying to kill me – yet! When I did my reading later, as I am wont to do, I discovered that the cemetery was filled very quickly in its early years from victims of yellow fever. Nasty!

NEXT STOP BIRMINGHAM

A few more funnies and pretties…..

Happy Birthday Mr President

I have no excuse for this position. I should have just hugged it!

Giddyup

Giddyup again

Death stare. I think he just needs a good hug!

God help USA 2. State of Maine

BACK IN THE USA USA USA

As soon as we left Canada we left the rain behind. Yay! Over the border in the US state of Maine we were greeted with sunshine and nature just beginning to blush like a shy girl showing off her Fall colours. The greens of the forest are dappled with reds and golds. Gorgeous.

Full credit for this picture goes to my current wife and roomie extraordinaire Ms Penny Hooper

ACADIA NATIONAL PARK

Our reason for coming to Maine was to spend some time in the Acadia National Park, New England’s only national park. With only one full day there we headed straight there late in the afternoon after yet another big day of driving

JORDAN POND

On Golden Pond! Not quite, but we tackled an easy flat walk around this glorious pond of about 3 miles in about and hour and a half just before the sun set. And we saw a deer and a chipmunk. Always a bonus. We earned our lobster dinner that day at a very cool restaurant called Poor Boys. Just to be clear, New England is famous for cheap and plentiful lobster. We eat it any chance we get.

CADILLAC MOUNTAIN

The easy stroll around the idyllic pond had a few of us gagging for more so we did what all insane people do. We got up at 4am to hike up the Cadillac in the dark with “nearly” enough torches to greet the sunrise. We expected a path and instead there were lots and lots of rocks to scramble over.

The mountain is all granite, speckled pink and grey. Some of the walk is across great shelfs of it. The greenery consists of the usual coniferous species typical to this sort of climate. The path is marked with cairns and blue stripes painted on the rock to guide the way. We only got lost once!

An hour and a half after we set out we ascended the peak singing the “Rocky” theme song justly pleased with ourselves. Doo do doo doo do doo doo do doo doo do doo! You know it. Everyone else, that is the sane people, had driven up the mountain to greet the magical pink sunrise and I’m pretty sure that we disturbed their peace. Serenity now! Always the loudest people in the village.

The funniest moment came when we encountered a woman up there with her stuffed monkey taking pictures of said monkey enjoying the moment. One of our team gave the monkey a banana. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard! Priceless.

On the way back down later we were kind of horrified at the terrain we had survived in the dark. Fools rush in.

OTTER POINT

I was excited about walking to this point. I’d clearly done enough walking already that day but I was finally going to see some otters. No I wasn’t. There were no otter and therefore no point. Oh ok it was pretty but there were no damn otters. No bears, no otters, no moose BUT we did see a hummingbird later in town. That was special.

BAR HARBOR

Bar Harbor is Acadia’s local town and it is the cutest little place. Quirky shops, lots of humour and loads of lobster. Our group split up into various activities. Whale watching, lighthouse tours and some of us after the fruitless stroll around Otter Point found the local Irish pub for an ale and lunch. It’s the kind of area that between the town and the park it would be easy to spend at least a week here exploring and enjoying the amazing scenery.

The big question is do they take orders, returns or do reconditioning?

NEXT STOP BOSTON

Nice – not so much

We were prepared for another long day in the car but Mrs Beckam had an extra special kind of hell prepared for us today. The scary thing is we haven’t learnt and are still trusting the choices she’s making for us. To get from Briancon in France to Nice in France we have to cross into Italy and back again. Love these open borders.

The day starts nicely enough and we head over another gorgeous and open pass called the Col d’Izoard, 2360m. A great drive. The strange thing about this day is that all the passes are open and it goes smoothly enough. We roll into a tiny town at lunch time and have a fabulous lunch at Cafe where the waiter tells us he wants to move to Australia and never come back, he just needs a job and a girl. Simples!

Then the day turns to shite. Mrs Bitchface Beckham takes us the scenic route to Nice even though we have clearly programmed in the fastest route. My poor brother, who is doing all the driving has the drive in hell in ahead. Upwards, downwards, upwards, downwards, upwards, downwards, upwards, downwards, upwards, around the most unbelievable death defying curves for about 4 hours. It’s exhausting and I’m just a passenger.

Confession time. I’m meant to be sharing the driving and I’m too chicken. That is lily livered, coward, big girls blouse scared. The car we’ve hired is a big heavy thing with no turning circle. Coupling that with driving on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of the car in a manual I’ve completely chickened out and left my brother in the hot seat. Pathetic! I know I know I know!!!

So four hours of driving constant hair pin bends in a tank with no turning circle was a tough day for my bro. Too stressed to even take photos which was a shame because the scenery was as usual spectacular. The flowers I did spot (when my eyes weren’t glued to the road in abject terror) reminded me of how clever mother nature is. For the most part the roadsides are red poppies, yellow cytisus, pink somethings and occasionally blue somethings else. In the world of design contrast is the key. Using colours from the opposite spectrum of the colour wheel brings striking results. Most of the winding road was yellow and pink. Two colours you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing together as an outfit BUT fabulous as a plant combo. Sorry no photographic evidence to prove my point, too stressed. Mother knows best as usual.

The good news is we finally saw a Marmot. Actually we saw a whole bunch. From the outset of this drive from Zurich two weeks ago we have been seeing postcards about marmots and I was beginning to believe they were just a marketing ploy. A mythical cute furry animal to bring the people that never delivered. I’ve seen a million signs telling us to watch out for deer too and I’m convinced they don’t exist either. I’m pretty sure they’ve eaten them all. But the marmots are real. I haven’t seen marmot on the menu as the little guys are too fast to even photograph. These cute furries have burrows right next to the road and on this day we frequently spotted them ducking for cover. They look a bit like a cross between a badger, a beaver and meerkat. Pretty damn cute.

NICE
Nice, to be somewhat redundant is really not that nice. Actually it is a bit of a hole. The traffic getting in to town when we finally get off what I now think of as the devil’s road is bumper to bumper. Double parking is rife holding up the traffic flow even more. It’s also a bit dirty and grotty. Not matching up to my visions of the posh French Riviera. Every car is dinged and scratched.The Car Insurance must be hell.

When is a beach not a beach? When it’s Nice.

I don’t know about you but my definition of a beach includes SAND. They don’t have that here. A walk on the beach is more like a bush walk. Rocks, pebbles and stones. I thought of it like a foot massage. Masseur sandals au natural. I hobbled on the cobbles down to the sea and put my feet in the Mediterranean water. Still a bit chilly.

No sand castles here. Just some creative writing instead

How I hope Byron Bay doesn’t end up like this. It’s noisy and soulless.

Our super apartment is a block from the beach which is awesome and across the road from the local drug dealers which is not. Young and loud, they hang on the corner directly opposite my room all day and all night. Completely indiscreet, they have music blaring, yell at each other and have a noisy motor bike coming and going making deliveries and pick ups. I spent the sleepless hours fantasising about different ways to sabotage their motorbike.

Nice tour
To give my brother break a from driving we take the day long hop on hop off bus tour. The Barcelona one was a fantastic way to see that big city and seeing as this is posh Nice in the French Riviera I was expecting more. Not. It was still a great day but it is hard to believe that the Spanish version was way better. The buses are a bit tired and filthy. The Audio guide was broken in no less than five of the seats I sat in. The languages were on random channels on every bus which meant scrolling through until hitting the English jackpot. They were a bit light on with the stops information too making it easy to miss things. Despite that, still worth it. Spectacular views and better than attempting to negotiate the crazy Nice traffic.

Highlights
Olive Tree Park
A city park full of trees that must be more than a hundred years old. They are just an everyday part of life here. It is a busy Sunday and it is full of people picnicking, playing and sport and even a wedding. The trees are so old I just want to scream at them to back away and show some respect for their elders.

Of course I had to hug one

Cemetery – creepy creep
I never want to be buried. This tiny cemetery has some extravagant graves with grieving angels that really gave me the creeps. Mr Garibaldi, the hero of Nice is buried here in one of the least ostentatious graves.

Roman ruins – Ho hum, more exceedingly old roman ruins looking over the city.

Garibaldi plaza
The plaza is lovely but the restaurants are stupidly expensive. We found a cute little thriving alleyway just off the plaza and had lunch under a giant linden tree to the sounds of an accordion. Perfect!

Russian cathedral.
This little piece of Russia is very sparkly indeed. After the Crimean war Russia was banned from the Black Sea and so they negotiated some sort of deal (bribe?) with the leaders of Nice and now there is a large Russian population here and therefore this church. Gold and jewel encrusted wall to wall inside.

ABC Gardens
Not much to say, unremarkable church but great location high above the city and pretty gardens.

Missed
Matisse & Chagall.
Nice is a city of many museums, a week could be spent just artsy fartsing around. In our one day here I only had time to wistfully stand outside the Matisse museum and wave at Chagall’s as we bussed by. But never mind, there was plenty of other beauties to see.

And I can always find something to hug

NEXT STOP AVIGNON FRANCE