GOD HELP USA 24 – MEXICO & MOTORCYCLES

This is it! My last adventure before I headed home, and it sure was a grand one. A great grand adventure.

LESSER SPOTTED TUCSON

Way, way, way back in Belfast I made a new friend at Garrick’s Pub. I did this by insulting the poor fella in the most charming way. I called him old. Imagine that? Despite my insufferable cheek we became friends over a couple of ales and he invited me to visit Tucson, Arizona if I was ever passing through. Poor bastard didn’t know what he was getting himself into. As it turned out I had a week left in America after my National Parks tour that I didn’t know what to do with so off I popped to Tucson. Hello Jimmy D.

I didn’t get to see much of Tucson, (pronounced Tooson) but I did get rewarded with a couple of very cool wildlife moments. A mother and kitten Bobcat sighting in my friends backyard on my first morning there and the sounds of a coyote pack yapping up a storm on my last evening. Apparently small pets tend to go mysteriously missing from time to time. There are many hopeful Lost Dog posters. Not lost – eaten!

Mummy Bobcat

Baby Bobcat. Hello kitty!

Less than half an hour after landing in Tucson I found myself at its newest and only Aussie pub talking to the publican Glenn from Perth and listening to an itinerant musician from the Gold Coast named Squid sing one of the best renditions of Waltzing Matilda ever followed by a litany of songs by bands like The Church and Redgum. Surreal.

I never did get to try one of those sausage rolls.

The next day we bundled me up into a way too large leather jacket, plonked me on the back of a Harley Davidson and rode to Mexico for one last grand adventure before I came home. I didn’t publish this post until after we were back safe so nobody could spill the beans to my mother. She won’t be happy but she can at least find out way after the fact.

Our destination was Puerto Penasco for a motorbike rally. Yep, this happy tree hugging hippy chick went all bad biker bitch! Before I get to share all about that anthropological experience we had to get there.

There were many advantages to a long ride on the back of a motorbike for this happy hugging horti. It was basically a four hour hug with uninterrupted views of nature. Woohoo. I was like a little koala back there. The Harley was a very comfortable machine and my friend very kindly stopped every hour so my butt didn’t get too sore. I was glad for that jacket (even though I looked like a complete unit) as there was a chill wind coming off the desert.

Unit!

From Tucson to Puerto Penasco is around 350 kms. The journey begins in Arizona’s Saguaro fields and eventually through Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument before we reached the Mexican border. Gets a little less interesting after that. The border is easy to get through, a little harder to come home. The landscape is mostly flat and dry with the odd peak in the distance.

The Organ Pipe Cactus, Stenocereus thurberi is native to Mexico and just that particular region in the USA. Not dissimilar to the Saguaro in that their pollination is mostly done by bats at night and has edible fruit, however it is vastly different in that they have many branches all coming from a single trunk just above the ground. The other predominant species like the Barrel Cactus and Ocatillo weren’t looking their best at that time of year. I just have to come back! Damn. It would be a treat to come through in Spring when they all burst into flower.

Organ Pipe Cactus

PUERTO PENASCO

Puerto Penasco translates as Rocky Point in English and is in Sonora, a free zone area in Mexico. It was traditionally a fishing village and that industry remains today going hand in hand with the American resort based tourism and their insatiable hunger for shrimp. The seafood on offer was pretty damn impressive, we did eat some tasty morsels. They even have a shrimp god. All hail the almighty giant prawn.

I love shrimp!

There is a very colourful historical story attached to this town. Back in prohibition times an enterprising man came south of the border, built a hotel, drilled a well and began a thriving alcohol based tourism business for thirsty Americans. Sadly at some point he fell out with the locals and retaliated by burning down the hotel, blowing up the water well and leaving town. Take that! Today the beach is lined with condos in various states of construction. The economic woes of the world are very evident here as the money went back north or just plain stopped.

Our accommodation in Puerto Penasco was gorgeous. A five bedroom, five bathroom apartment on the ninth floor of a beachfront condominium. Breathtaking views of the sea, pelicans, dolphins, a heated pool and spa all right there.

Yep. That’s one ugly view

THE ROCKY POINT MOTORBIKE RALLY

I never imagined at the beginning of this year that I would find myself in Mexico at a bikers rally. Actually I never imagined myself at any time in my life ever at a bikers rally. Carpe diem. One wacky adventure after another. Hmm what can I say? Wow! Not really my scene but wow!

Motorcyclists are a breed apart. Every year thousands of leather clad guys and gals descend on this small town for some wild times. They stare at each other’s bikes, show off, do burnouts on their tyres, they drink, they party, buy cheap Mexican pharmaceuticals, visit the strip clubs and for some reason convince women to show their breasts for beads. Strings of cheap beads for boobs! I kept my puppies firmly under wraps. I can’t say I really understood or agreed with any of it but it sure is one hell of a spectacle. For the most part everyone is just there to let off some steam in an alternate reality for a couple of days. Anything goes in Mexico after all. Yes there were a few outlaw gangs in attendance but mostly it seemed to be a friendly peaceable event. For the four nights that we were there we really only spent one day and evening amongst the madness. Happy days. The rest of the time I could be found by the beach and pool.

Viagra anyone?

By the time we got to the ride home it was t-shirt weather so I got to ditch the ridiculous oversized jacket and just enjoy the breeze (and the chapped lips). Of course I was a pro by then and the journey home was over all too soon. The longest part is the queue at the border as they check that you are not an escaping illegal. I was wishing I was so they could send me back. It was hard to leave.

NEXT STOP AUSTRALIA

That’s right folks, the grand adventure is over. I’m going home. Sad face. Seven and a half months of travel done and dusted. 226 days. 7 months and 12 days. 32 weeks and 2 days. I found an app that works that out for you! Basically, not long enough but longer than most I know. France, Spain, Italy, Switzerland, England, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, USA. I mightn’t stay home for long. I don’t think these itchy feet of mine are ever going to rest. They’ve got a taste for the road. Watch this space.

A few last pretties

Bloody Mary cures what ails you in Mexico

Jimmy D and I didn’t have any fun at all!

The last hug!

GOD HELP USA 23 – LA LA LAND

LA

Oh bugger, civilisation and not the good kind. Too many movies have made this town look glamorous when it just ain’t.

FIRST STOP THE SIGN

The coolest thing about the lookout for “the” overrated sign is the Observatory building that houses the Foucault Pendulum, in motion all day swinging away with the aid of a magnet. While it looks like the pendulum changes position, it is in the fact the earth turning on its axis. Every ten minutes or so it knocks over a peg to demonstrate the turning of the earth. Fascinating. The sign lookout is also the best place for a spectacular view of the permanent cloud of smog that blankets LA. Nice.

Our next stop was the infamous Hollywood Boulevard and its starred walk. A bit crappy and kind of grotty. The whole team was underwhelmed.

I did find a couple of my favourite Aussies

The crazy religious people have their presence here on the boulevard and I’m told own much of what I see.

Rodeo Drive was our next port of call and I didn’t even bother to get out of the car or get out the camera. Places selling $500 pairs of socks just don’t interest me. We did see a chihuahua wearing pink socks which made me regret my lack of ready camera. Apparently some stores you need an appointment to even enter. I did toy with the idea of doing the Julia Roberts line from Pretty Woman in one of those very stores where she got refused service. “You’ve just made a big mistake!” I stole someone else’s photo for illustration purposes. Thank you Bob Adams.

Our last stop of the day was the beachside areas of Santa Monica and Venice Beach. Venice Beach is the place to go for people watching and “medical” marijuana. The spruikers dress in scrubs outside the clinics offering visits to the doctor. Yep, they think they look like real medical professionals. Not! So stupid. Hippies, buskers, crazies, they are all here. Reminds me of home.

“Venice” in LA

Another crazy people watching opportunity is the muscle men work out zone on the beach. It falls into the category of things that can’t be unseen and I will not torture anyone else with that sight. Oiled egos in speedos. I am traumatised. All kinds of yuck!

Instead a pretty Venice Beach sunset. Much better for the eyes and the mind

The skate park at Venice Beach is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen with the most unusual shapes and crazy talented kids with mad skills. Hours of fun.

LAX Airport shooting

The morning we drove into LA was the day of a dramatic airport shooting. A disturbed young man had a profound affect on the city and airports all over the USA. Thousands of people’s flight plans were ruined and an unarmed man working for the TSA lost his life leaving a wife without a husband and two kids without a father. Senseless. Our hotel was near the airport and despite the fact that the shooting occurred just after 9am, the road there didn’t reopen until around 6pm that evening. It was still excruciatingly slow going. The poor hotel staff were working overtime checking in all the seriously delayed passengers which I’m sure was a familiar story all over the city. People that dropped their belongings when fleeing the terminal didn’t get their stuff back until several days later. One mixed up kid did all that. Sad and crazy times.

AND, that was the end of my last group tour around the USA. Back on my own again I had a few days up my sleeve in LA but that first day there was all I needed to see. I couldn’t have cared less about the other voyeuristic pleasures on offer. Spying on movie stars by visiting their homes from the outside or doing Hollywood studio tours is pretty much all there is to do here. And I’m a bit old for Disneyland. The airport hotel region is full of restaurants, supermarkets and bars so I was all good and perfectly happy to commune with my hotel bed catching up on my blog and doing some serious TV watching with the occasional foray outside for supplies. I just ain’t a city girl.

NEXT STOP TUCSON, ARIZONA & PUERTO PENASCO, MEXICO

Jimmy D at the sign lookout

Happy horti at the sign lookout. Yes that is a Koala on my t-shirt. Represent!

The palm trees seen all over LA are the Mexican Fan Palm, Washingtonia Robusta and are instantly recognisable as synonymous with LA.

GOD HELP USA 22 – SAND DUNES AND SAN DIEGO

The journey from Scottsdale to San Diego is through a vastly changing landscape. Flat desert land, huge cattle feed lots in the distance on treeless plains that you can smell for miles -ugh, vast sand dunes and then finally up through a winding rocky hillside with large sandstone boulders replete with cactus. The Mexican border was close by much of the time. It is a long and imposing fence. We attempted to get up close to the border for a better look but there was a bunch of army dudes with rifles. We hightailed it out of there but I did manage to get one quick snap.

Those black spots on the distance are the poor cows

Mexican border fence

The sand dunes were amazing. Popular with people to play on their dune buggies. I’m reasonably sure the dudes we saw tearing up the dunes were also the police “patrolling”. We conquered just one on foot. I feel sorry for any Mexicans trying to get the USA via that route.

BALBOA PARK

Balboa Park is San Diego’s equivalent of New York’s Central and San Francisco’s Golden Gate Parks. A massive green space in the middle of the city and home to a zoo, a bunch of museums, gardens, even a bowling green. The park has a free shuttle which only goes between the visitor’s centre and car parks and that means a lot of walking. Not my favourite thing.

San Diego Zoo is meant to be one of the best zoos in the world. Before we got to San Diego I had just watched the documentary Blackfish showing the use and abuse of Orcas (Killer Whales) at Seaworld and other parks around the world which left me horrified. I couldn’t face any place animals are confined after that.

How I like my animals at zoos. Fake or plant based.

Instead of the zoo I decided to have a purely happy horti plant day and explore the park. My first stop was the Desert Garden, a cliff face collection of cacti and succulents. This happy horti was initially in heaven. The landscape held some of the largest specimens of succulents, unusual trees and palms I’ve ever beheld yet sadly not one damn thing was labelled. FRUSTRATING. Unhappy horti. Thankfully I could identify some without help.

Barrel Cactus, Echinocactus, two different types

Madagascan Palm, Pachypodium lamerei

Boab or Baobab Tree, Adansonia spp.

Jade Tree, Portulacaria afra

And a bunch of tree-like ones reminding me of Dragon Tree Dracaena Draco and Tree Aloe Aloe Barbaraceae but I am unsure.

The following look like Candelabra Cactus, Euphorbia species and were in flower:-

These look like they are from the Euphorbia family too and are with some some nice palms, especially the blue foliaged Bismarck Palm:-

Some related to Prickly Pear, Opuntia spp. perhaps

Orchid Tree, Bauhinia spp.

The Botanical Building which reputedly has a great collection of plants was closed! Who closes a main attraction on a Thursday for maintenance? Weird. Don’t they know Monday is traditional maintenance day? In front was a sizeable pond with water lily, koi and turtles.

I visited the Redwood Circle but they were looking a bit sad. They have trouble growing them this far south. As with San Francisco there are loads of Aussie plants, particularly the gum trees.

More Aussies!

Brachychiton discolor or bidwilli. Probably the former and also known as Lacebark Tree or Pink Kurrajong. Related to our more popular Flame Tree Brachychiton acerifolius, also in attendance but not in flower right now.

Moreton Bay Fig, Ficus macrophylla, an unexpected but happy encounter was with this old friend. Looking for all the world at home here as if it was spreading in a cow paddock at home.

My mystery tree in San Diego was this bizarre gnarly twisted plant that I eventually identified as, of all things, the Australian Coastal Tea Tree Leptospermum laevigatum. This is a plant with which I am familiar but I’ve never seen them do this in my neck of the woods! Wow. Looking for all the world sometimes like a fallen dead tree but with tufts of verdant foliage sprouting out. Very popular with my friends the squirrels for free accom and shade.

Seed pods

Coastal Tea Tree with portaloo. Nice

Happy squirrel striking a pose.

California Pepper Tree Schinus molle
This was the squirrels next favourite tree. Beautiful weeping foliage on gnarly trunks with red berries that look like peppercorns. Native to South America and the Peruvian Andes, it is a bit of a pest in Africa, Australia and even here.

I wandered around the park for a few hours but was underwhelmed by the other botanical offerings. It wasn’t that it wasn’t any good, it was more that much of it was stuff I’ve seen before. A hazard of being on the road for so long. Palms, Japanese Friendship Garden and the rather lame Alcazar Garden.

After I’d had my fill of the park I had enough time left to jump on the enjoyable but overpriced trolley tour of San Diego for a once around. It looked like a pretty cool town. Historic houses, Old Town with its funky shops, the Little Italy restaurant strip and the gorgeous sandy beach island of Coronado are all worthy of a better look someday. It was Halloween so I was doubly pleased. The streets were filled with costumed folk in search of candy. A feast for the eyes of cute, cute and more cute.

I think there is something there for the young and old alike!

My favourite trolley guide of the day was Vidal who got right into the spirit of things costume wise and treated us to very special performance of magic. Great fun.

NEXT STOP LA

GOD HELP USA 21 – SEDONA, SEGUARO & MODEL MONTEZUMA

The drive from the Grand Canyon to Scottsdale, our pitstop on the way to San Diego, takes us through yet more spectacular scenery and to a town on my to visit list – Sedona.

The beauty just keeps on keeping on.

SEDONA

Sedona is home to another beautiful canyon on my bucket list but sadly we only stopped there for lunch. Oh damn, another place I have to revisit. Despite my earlier enthusiasm for the town I found it difficult to engage with it after the highs of the morning. A helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon is hard to top. The strangest thing was my sense of familiarity with Sedona which perhaps contributed to my sense of apathy. It was just like home. It is Byron Bay in the desert:- crystals, psychic readings, hippy clothes, Indian jewellery – some real some fake – and all at inflated prices. Same town, just with an entirely different landscape. Desert canyons and cliff faces rather than subtropical white sandy beaches.

MONTEZUMA CASTLE

Neither a castle nor in Montezuma (Aztec, entirely wrong region), this national monument is the ancient home of the Sinagua Indians just south of Sedona in Arizona. It was misnamed by early white settlers that didn’t know any better. The Indians were a farming people that grew corn, beans, squash and cotton as well as being skilled craftsman making tools and beautiful pottery. The remains of their village can be visited here. It was a five storey, 20 room dwelling built into a cliff face and was abandoned about 700 years ago for reasons unknown.The village was situated right next to the Beaver River which would have provided them with abundant water and therefore fertile land with plentiful wildlife in the middle of this desert environment.

Model Montezuma Village

Beautiful Beaver River

PLANT FILES

One of the best things about Montezuma Castle for me was that they had bothered to identify the plants with great informative signs. Happy horti!

Beautiful bark of the Plane or Sycamore tree

As I was leaving I complemented the ranger the signs and I’m glad I did. She showed me a very special newly “rediscovered” plant from another ancient village site close by known as the Tuzigoot National Monument. We didn’t get to visit there but she told me that the Pueblo an Indians who inhabited that site lived around the same time as those at the Montezuma village. The only trouble is I took just one photo and it was a crap one. Dummy? Me! Doh! My apologies.

Tonto Basin Agave, Agave delamateri
A hybrid species cultivated by Sinagua Indians. Used as fibre for tools, clothing and food. It was discovered on the site growing unattended for hundreds of years. As Agaves reproduce by putting out “pups”, every plant is considered a clone of the very plants cultivated by the Indians about 1000 years ago. That’s pretty darn cool. The ranger thinks it is one of four “new/old” species.

SEGUARO CACTUS

The drive to Scottsdale brings us into cactus country. The hillsides are populated by thousands of the tall Saguaro Carnegiea gigantea. I was blown away firstly just by how numerous they were. It began with just one or two and quickly became thousands. Tall sentinels for all the world looking like soldiers bearing arms populating hillside after hillside. They can grow to around 20 metres and don’t get their first “arm” until they are about 50-75 years old. Some specimens never get arms and are called spears. Poor armless things. I wonder if they get teased by those gifted with many arms!

Native to Arizona, their growth is dependant on water meaning that those from areas of higher rainfall grow much faster. A fascinating feature of this plant is that their pollination primarily relies on bats. The flowers open at night when they are most fragrant. The flowers remain open during the day and remain attractive to some birds and bees. The Saguaro also has an edible fruit consumed by the natives yet only harvestable with the aid of a pole to avoid the nasty spines. Ouchy.

Me and a very large prick! The one next to me is probably about 200 years old. The spear behind me maybe about 50 and looks as if it is starting to gets its first arm in the top right. I met these big guys just outside Scottsdale.

That might be it for close encounters with nature for a while. We’re off to the cities.

NEXT STOP SAN DIEGO

GOD HELP USA 20 – GLAD AND BETTER THAN GREAT GRAND CANYON

GRAND CANYON

I made it! This was a bucket list item that I almost missed because of that idiotic government shutdown. Of all the things to consider as non essential! Blocking people from nature has got to be up there on top of the list of stupid.

A bright sun shiny day dawned for the big day accompanied by what I can only describe as a bitch of a wind. A relentless, biting icy cold wind that cut through several layers of clothing.

Happy but cold!

It sure as heck is a mighty big ditch. Standing close to the edge felt treacherous as any stray strong gust could blow me over like so much confetti. Hiking was out of the question so after wandering along as much of the edge as we could stand in the face of that wind we availed ourselves of one of the free shuttle buses around the park and headed indoors. It was a little frustrating to be there and not able to be outside really enjoying it. But at least we were there!!

OK, so I look like a hobo!

Optimistic as ever we headed back out to a prime viewing point for the famous Grand Canyon sunset only to be thwarted by cloud cover blown in by that treacherous wind. It was still beautiful.

Our fruitless sunset vigil was rewarded with a sighting of a herd of elks on the way home.

In celebration I hugged one!

The next morning the weather gods decided to be briefly kind to us and opened a short window of fine virtually windless weather so we could go for the helicopter ride we had scheduled for the previous day and was cancelled because of that bloody wind. Words cannot describe how excited I was. Woohoo yippee. I was being exceptionally annoying and humming the theme song to M*A*S*H all morning. Do doo do doo do do do.

Giddyup! I got to sit up front and centre next to the pilot.

The canyon is SO VAST! If it looks big from the edge, it looks huge from on high. The first drop off the edge of the canyon brought a scream of excitement or fear from all of our lips. Yeehaw! The feeling of sheer weightlessness as the canyon dropped a mile beneath might just be better than sex. Helicopters buffet in the breeze a bit like a boat in the ocean, a sensation I thoroughly enjoyed. Woohoo!
Even though we racing at over 120km an hour it felt as if we were barely moving or at times just hovering.

The scenery is spectacular. Huge rock formations, winding rivers, sandy vistas. One portion of the Colorado river that runs through the canyon is a brilliant turquoise thanks to the calcium carbonate in the rock. In monsoon season some of the waterfalls run that colour. That is something I would dearly like to see. Turquoise waterfalls. Back on the bucket list.

So we didn’t get to see it at its best, as the continuing cloud cover meant we weren’t treated to all the colour variations the rock and desert can experience throughout the day in response to the sun. The complex layers of the exposed rock is why the colours change so much. It is a geological exposure of the earth’s history. Layer upon layer of limestone, sandstone and shale from across the ages. Always humbling to be in the presence of such grandeur, age and history.

The helicopter flight was the definition of exhilarating! Right up there as one of the top experiences of my life. I bounced out of that helicopter like Tigger. Boing boing boing. Took me a little while to come down from that high. The pilots weren’t bad either! Mmmmm, so many reasons to come back.

There was even a bit of snow on the ground. No wonder it was cold.

PLANT FILES

Admittedly I was busy looking at the big hole in the ground and paying much attention to the plants but I did manage to notice a few things. Most were species I’ve seen again and again in these desert areas. Pinyon Pine, Yucca, Rabbitbrush, Ponderosa Pine, Prickly Pear and Cliffrose but there was a few newbies.

MANZANITA. I’ve been seeing this shrubby plant since Yosemite, which I finally identified as Manzanita thanks to a handout, Arctostaphylos, related to heather! Another plant that needs smoke or fire to germinate. At this time of the year their most interesting feature is peeling red bark.

Utah Juniper – Juniperus osteosperma. Gorgeous blue berries look great up against the red of the desert

Banana Yucca – Yucca baccata

Pinyon Pine – Pinus edulis

NEXT STOP SEDONA & SAN DIEGO

GOD HELP USA 19 – DAY OF WONDERS ~ CANYONS, BENDS AND MONUMENT VALLEY

After all the excitement of dams and puddles, the next day we headed back out into Navajo lands which was not without its issues.

WARNING, WARNING ALCOHOL FREE DAY!
That wasn’t in the brochure!

Navajo country is alcohol free land as the Native Americans have a terrible physical intolerance to it. My guide told me some horror stories of deaths attributed to it in the desert thanks to only a small consumption. It does not agree with their systems much like our indigenous community in Australia. Our entire day and accommodation is spent in their lands so it is only right to respect the culture. That would be maybe my third alcohol free day this year! My liver I’m sure was grateful to them for the respite.

ANTELOPE CANYON, UTAH

This Canyon is owned by the local tribe and just to get into the car park costs $6 per person. The canyon can only be visited with an Indian guide and that costs varies. After a bit of tense haggling we paid $30. Why they don’t take all your money at once is mysterious. My guide said that even though he takes groups there all the time that process recurs every time! Perhaps the haggling is just all part of the cultural process. A speedy jeep ride to the canyon followed through the most ridiculous amount of super fine sand which got in every orifice and some I didn’t even know I had. The ridiculousness had some of us in hysterics.

Scene from Mad Max

Antelope Canyon is formed of Navajo Sandstone in the most incredible waves and curves. The walk through the canyon is truly magical, despite the crowds. The light beaming down through the narrow space onto the sandstone glows orange and pink.

The guides are all photography experts and tell you how and where to take pictures. In my case he adjusted the settings on my camera so it worked properly. Bonus. Even though it is in the middle of the desert and open on both ends, (hence it is a canyon and not a cave) flash flooding does occur. There is an extension of the canyon close by where a number of tourists died in a sudden storm. There is not a cloud in the sky today so we are perfectly safe from everything but another drag race through the inescapable sand.

HORSESHOE BEND

Directly from that incredible experience we headed just down the road to yet another extraordinary land formation known as Horseshoe Bend. So many wonders so close together and this one is free! Yay! Back at the Glen Canyon Dam we visited the day before are the boats that you can catch to be inside the Horseshoe. The view from the top is pretty special too.

MONUMENT VALLEY, UTAH

Just when I thought I’d had all the natural wonders I could take we journeyed later that day further into Navajo country. Monument Valley is instantly recognisable from every western movie ever made.

Wisely we’d stayed in our dusty clothes from the mornings adventures as we jumped on another jeep for a drive through more desert.

All the rocky monoliths have names like The Mittens, Totem Pole, Three Sister, Elephant Butte and Sentinel Mesa.

Indian cowboy strutting his stuff

Our guide John (not his Indian name) was both knowledgeable and heaps of fun. He was very passionate about his culture and tireless in his efforts to earnestly share with us. John was also fond of clowning around and getting us to as well. You don’t have to ask me twice!

The tour was at least two hours long and covered a huge area of the park. Along the way John treated us to a traditional song with drum. He sang for us next to a particularly powerful rock formation where as we lay back on the rock and looked up an eagles profile was evident. It was a privilege to be there. Powerful stuff.

The Navajo people from that area are the ones made famous in the film Windtalkers. The movie tells the story of their language being used as the unbreakable code in World War 2, a fact of which they are rightfully very proud. The local Hungry Jacks had an exhibition about it but we gave it a miss. Sadly the only food available in the nearest town to Monument Valley is fast food chains. Ugh! Can’t be be good for the locals.

Monument Valley is not just about the giant rocks! These are petroglyphs left behind an ancient people known as the Anasazi.

Is it a bird, an antelope or something else?

We were fortunate to be there at the end of the day and treated to one hell of a sunset. Although the temperature dropped alarmingly and we were freezing our bits off it was hard not to be happy and full of awe.

Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend and Monument Valley. That was one hell of a day!

By the end of the days adventures I was covered in more sand than from a week at the beach. Even after a thorough shower and shampoo I was still dusty and felt like a cat with a fur-ball from all the dust down my throat. Cough!

NEXT STOP GRAND CANYON

A few more pretties

Whenever you see me standing like this I am usually saying “ta da!”

Monument Valley posse. This is meant to be our “attitude” pose. I think I’ve got it down.

This is me star jumping at a formation known as The Ear of the Wind

Our accommodation was pretty crappy here but I did make a new friend.

And just one ugly

Smack bang in the middle of Navajo country and disturbingly near the dam and puddle is this hideous coal electricity plant. Hmmmm.

GOD HELP USA 18 – DAMS AND PUDDLE POWELL

GLEN CANYON DAM

Directly from the magical morning walk amongst the Hoodoos of Bryce Canyon we drove to Glen Canyon Dam. On the way there we stopped at a restaurant with a name like no other. We couldn’t possibly resist!

Everybody loves a Ho and a good pie!

One of many dams up and down the Colorado River, this both stores water and is a hydroelectric plant. We went on a $5 tour with a serious security check as it is a federal facility. We also got a warning about getting kicked off the tour if we asked security questions. I wish I’d done that as the tour bored me stupid. Led by a really likeable old man retired from working at the facility who made it as interesting as he could. I should’ve hugged him! One of my travel mates works in nuclear power and was absolutely rapt! Some of the views were good at least. I eventually found something of interest. A lawn the size of two football fields they planted to keep the dust down (where you could play a cracking game of cricket) and a weeping wall covered in maiden hair fern. A bit of an anti climax for me after the mornings visit to the Hoodoos.

Cricket anyone?

Fair Maiden Hair happily flourishing on a weeping wall.

PUDDLE POWELL

Sorry, Lake Powell is a bit further upstream and was looking a bit like a puddle to me because my guide kept pointing out all the places where the water was supposed to be. Now that I’ve dubbed it Puddle Powell I just can’t stop calling it that. It just rolls off the tongue. My apologies to the Lake lovers. Admittedly there was a big section around the bend that I didn’t get to see.

Puddle Powell

Puddle Powell is part of the Glen Canyon Recreation area and is a popular holiday spot for camping, hiking, water sports and houseboat living. It is a created lake and has been filled with a bunch of non indigenous fish species. Apparently they air dropped the fish in. I hope the fish got decent service on the plane before being unceremoniously dumped like that. I’m guessing that the live clams and remnant shells I found along the shore come from a species not indigenous to the desert or the river. Despite the seeming lack of water there was still a large group of houseboats and other water craft.

I can’t help but wonder what the Colorado River and this whole area would look like if not for this gigantic intervention of dam and recreation area in the natural scheme of things. I hope all the water and power it supplies has been worth the environmental cost.

PLANT FILES

Three very interesting plants by the puddle, only two I could identify.

Globemallow – Sphaeralcea ambigua. Delicate orange flowers on sage like foliage

Spiky tight foliage in green or pink! Anyone?

Salt Cedar or Tamarisk – Tamarix sp. Lovely fine weeping needle like foliage and pretty pink plumes. Sadly a weed

NEXT STOP ANTELOPE CANYON AND MONUMENT VALLEY

Me and my shadow wishing you hello!

GOD HELP USA 17 – BRYCE CANYON HOODOOS, I DO

BRYCE CANYON, UTAH

We drove to the outskirts of Bryce Canyon on the same day we left Vegas and visited Zion. Big day! Wisely we waited for the next morning however to visit this natural wonder. On our way there we were rewarded with more spectacular scenery, quirky towns that sold rocks and one hell of a rainbow. Nice.

I found something very huggable at our accommodation. In the absence of the real thing……

Beary good hug

The whole of Bryce Canyon and much of its surrounding areas are owned by the one family and has been for generations. They bought it all up just before the National Park was declared and today have a monopoly on the business. That’s good dollars.

Bryce Canyon is hands down one of the most extraordinary landscapes I’ve had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. We are still in Navajo sandstone country and the unique shapes in this canyon are known as “hoodoos”. The word hoodoo means to cast a spell. They sure are mesmerising and magical.

The traditional people considered the geological phenomenon as “legend people who coyote had turned to stone.” As good an explanation as any.

The hoodoos form impossible shapes. Some look like upside down stalactites, others balance precariously and one looks like Queen Victoria.

Queen Vic

The Navajo sandstone is naturally brittle and subject to erosion. Landslides are not infrequent. One day this marvel will have melted back into the desert from whence it came. Catch it while you can!

The orange and gold theme continued as the hoodoos are bathed in the morning light. We walked a route known as the Navajo Loop which was relatively easy taking us down a sloping switchback track to the base of the canyon, along the floor and than back up again. Done and dusted in under two hours with lots of photography stops.

PLANT FILES

The main plant species evident are Ponderosa Pine and Pinyon Pine. The trunks are all gnarly and twisted. Some have done some very strange things indeed.

Pinyon on the left, Ponderosa on the right

NEXT STOP GLEN CANYON DAM AND LAKE POWELL

I don’t know what those trees are but they sure do look picturesque

Conquering champion

GOD HELP USA 16 – Z IS FOR ZION

ZION NATIONAL PARK, UTAH

Eternally grateful to leave Las Vegas behind we headed back out to the National Parks. Happy horti!

Zion National Park is all orange and gold, orange and gold. Orange Navajo sandstone and golden trees. Am loving the Fall.

In what to me was one big tease, we had only 2.5 hours in Zion to see as much as possible. Zion National Park is by comparison to other parks quite small, the whole area is only 229 square miles (590kms). The main attraction, Zion Canyon, is 15 miles (24km) long and at most half a mile (800m) deep. Driving into the main canyon is not allowed and instead a free shuttle bus from the visitors centre takes you down to the numerous trails. The shuttle buses were full every trip, obviously a very popular park. Climbers love the sandstone walls and we did see some crazy people scaling the vertical cliff faces. Nutters.

There be people on that cliff face!

Right at the end of the canyon road is a trail that leads you along the riverbank and then to a section called the Temple of Sinawawa. From there you can actually get into the water and hike to any area known as The Narrows. Without the right gear and time this just wasn’t an option for us. You need to be properly prepared with waders, water shoes, poles and loads of time! I think some of the really special stuff to see is up that river. Perhaps someday.

Zion is amazingly fertile for somewhere in the middle of the desert. They don’t get a lot of rain but when it does come the canyon is prone to flash flooding. The other main source of water is snow melt in the spring.

The park is frequented by loads of wildlife and we saw the usual squirrels on the take, deer and even a hapless snake that I had to save from being poked with a stick by an ignorant Frenchman. There was one location popular with condors but none flying this day. I’m still waiting for an encounter with the elusive mountain lion.

PLANT FILES

The plant life was really diverse and we got to see a few real treasures.

The biggest surprise was to find Maidenhair Fern, Adiantum sp, growing on the lower cliff faces in the shade.

Desert holly – Atriplex hymenelytra, a type of saltbush. Drought and salt tolerant.

Four Wing Saltbush – Atriplex canescens, used for both food and medicine

Prickly Pear Cactus – Opuntia phaeacantha

Teddybear Cholla – Opuntia bigelovii. Great Latin name! It has painful spikes. Same family as Prickly Pear

Broom Snakeweed – Gutierrezua, a little bright yellow aster family plant

Cliffrose /Desert Bitterbrush / Mojave Antelope Brush Purshia (syn Cowania) sp. An arid plant related to roses with little white flowers followed by unusual feather like fruit.

The yellow and gold mostly come courtesy of Quaking Aspen – Populus tremuloides and Fremont Cottonwood – Populus fremontii

Happy hugging horti is back!

Rabbitbrush with some happy bees

At the end of the day I had a lot of photos of golden trees and orange rocks. It was a tough business choosing which ones to keep.

NEXT STOP BRYCE CANYON

Shifty eyed happy golden glowing horti

GOD HELP USA 15 – VENAL VEGAS ON VIAGRA

LAS VEGAS

I don’t know what it is about cities and flashing lights but it immediately puts me in a crap mood. My tour group stayed at The Stratosphere, a hotel modelled on the Space Needle in Seattle (think Men in Black spaceship). The only way to get to the hotel rooms is to walk through much of the casino. Our walk just to the elevators was through my idea of hell. People putting money down the toilets that are the slot machines and all in a haze of stinking cigarette smoke. A mere two minute walk through that hell meant that my hair stunk like an ashtray. Yuck! I know, I know there is nothing worse than a self righteous ex-smoker. I’m insufferable! But it has been 10 years since I’ve poisoned myself with that particular drug, I’ve a right to feel a little smug. These days I choose to poison myself with alcohol instead!

The Stratosphere

VEGAS ON VIAGRA

Vegas is fond, it seems to me, of pretending to be everything it isn’t, hence the Viagra. I boycotted most of the strip but did visit a couple that I was told I just had to absolutely positively see. OK! I was there after all.

One was the hotel Bellagio, named after one of my favourite places on Lake Como in Italy. It has a water fountain display that became Vegas’ only redeeming feature for me. Sort of. Apparently there are a few shows but I had the patience to wait around for just one. My eyes were delighted, my ears were bleeding. To the painful sounds of Celine Dion singing that wretched theme song from the Titanic film, they made the water dance. I was suitably impressed by how much is artistically possible with the medium of water and to seemingly imbue it with feeling. I’m sure the cheesy soundtrack helped.

The Bellagio water show

The Venetian was another hotel I was sent to. I’ve been to Venice, this was not it. This is a candy cane version of the Piazza San Marco, Palazzo Ducale and canals. Tacky.

“Venice”

Dinner my first night there was at the Harley Davidson pub with some interesting decor and outrageously huge meals.

My waitress told me the chicken dinner was a small meal. She lied!

“Paris”

Most of my time in Vegas however I spent sheltering from the craziness in my hotel room. With utter delight I discovered that my hotel had a pool with reasonably priced food and drinks. When I wasn’t communing with my lovely bed I communed with the pool area.

Vegas can have its casinos. I’ll just have the pool, the sunshine and the view thanks.

And thanks to some most excellent friends I made while at the pool, I spent an enjoyable couple of hours with them in the hotel’s bar 107 up in the tower with spectacular views, excellent food & drink and all far away from the madness below.

So much better from on high.

Vegas does have some great shows and there were loads on but nothing that really appealed. Cirque de Soleil had a Michael Jackson tribute that I was curious about but no tickets available on the days I was there. Bummer. Super expensive too.

Las Vegas has never been a place on my bucket list of places to visit so ultimately is an experience wasted on this tree hugger. I’m sure there is great fun to be had if it’s your thing. A town for those easily impressed or those just out for some flat out drinking and debauchery. The gambling, the obese gorging at the buffets and the bad behaviour on the streets is just not for me. A missable experience but hey, at least I can say that I’ve been there. NEXT!

NEXT STOP ZION NATIONAL PARK, UTAH